Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Also, I finally bit the cheapskate bullet and bought a new camera, hooray! TJ sent me her old one, but I think the postal service broke it en route because it wouldn't work even with brand new batteries! NEW BATTERIES, people. I'm notorious for mixing and matching whatever oldass batteries I can find around the house. One from the remote, one from the cat's laser pointer, one from the vibrator, one from Guitar Hero...we all share weak batteries in this house. But these were brand spankin' new, so I knew something was wrong. I thank you, Teej, for sending it. You are a true blue pal. Sorry USPS.com sucks and broke it. :(
But hey, I got a shiny new one. It's a Canon something something. It's not the best one in the world, but I'm pretty broke, so I deal. I saw it when I went to Costco last night and it said it was the last one, a display unit, so it was on sale. And I kept getting this nagging feeling to just buy it, but I dunno, I have a hard time spending a big chunk of money on myself. Modern day Mother Teresa, remember? Anyway, I spent all day today trying to get someone in electronics to pick up the phone because somewhere around 7:40 am, I was like "I'M GONNA GET IT!" But I was worried, with it being the LAST display model and all, that it could be gone.
So I finally get a dude to pick up and he makes me talk to the manager and the manager very begrudgingly decides to put it on hold for me so I am all psyched all day like HELL YEAH I'M GETTING A DEAL! Then I get there and I go to "the cage" (rawr) and give the dude the item number and he goes in there to get it for me. Then I was like "is that the right one? The tag said it was a display model." So he checks and he's like "yeah, matches the model number. We got like 20 back there, so you can have the box." Those fuckers! Can't believe I fell for the oldest sales trick in the book. The ol' THIS IS THE LAST ONE trick. I feel hoodwinked, but still happy to have this shiny box of camera fillings so I just go with the happiness.
I hope I didn't get ripped off, but I'm letting it go! I got a camera, I paid the rent, we're good. Let.it.go.
So yeah, the battery's charging. Yay, camera!
Alright, it's late. I'm gonna go wash the second-hand smoke from my hair and get some snoozers. Have a good Wednesday!
Monday, June 29, 2009
I can't take this heat anymore!
108 today. Which on the surface may not seem so bad. But by the time you factor in my hotass baking-in-the-sun-all-day car with no A/C, plus a trip to hot hot crowded with hot assholes Costco, what you end up with is one super hot pissed off Tricia. My hair's all sweaty and gross and my rolls are all buttered up with sweat and even my Bare Minerals melted off.
Then I get home and guess who is still asleep? Snuggled up in the comforter with two fans blowing on him. "DUDE...GET UP! It's 6:00! FUCK!" You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
I know he works late and I shouldn't be such a bitch. But like, I worked all day, then went shopping, then loaded the heavy ass shit up by myself, and I get home and he's been sleeping for 14 hours. FOURTEEN! Tends to make me irritable.
I dunno, maybe I'm just being whiny, but that's what summers do to me! My body can't deal with these extreme temps and all rationale goes out the window once the thermometer hits 100. Then I'm supposed to cook AND work out? Piss on that.
Alright, I'm over it. WAIT, I'm not. So like in the parking lot at Costco, this dude was going around getting the carts and shit. So this lady was trying to load up a box of detergent into her SUV and he comes running over all like "lemme help you with that!" So I put everything in the car already, but I always have a really hard time with the kitty litter. It's 40 pounds and I am a weakling! Like, just cause I'm fat doesn't mean I'm strong. I can be fat and dainty...I am dainty as shit! Anyway, he starts walking my way and I'm sure that he can see my obvious struggle but he just strolls right on by. UGH!
And we made eye contact! So it's not like he didn't see me. Just pisses me off. I'm gonna start a new campaign called "Help a Fattie In Need...We Won't Eat You!" Stupid kitty litter. Stupid cat. Stupid Las Vegas. STUPID COSTCO.
STUPID stupid stupid stupid!
This is shitty, tomorrow will be better.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
If I had to take a guess as to who killed him, I would guess Vince. I was watching some thing on Entertainment Tonight (I think...though maybe it was a dream) where they were having an informercial-spokesperson face-off and Billy really creamed the guy. He mopped the floor with him like he was a...(wait for it)...ShamWOW. This is no doubt a crime of passion. If you wanna be number one, you do what it takes. Either way, it's a sad day for infomercial lovers like me. Sleep well, sweet prince.
VH1 Classic's been showing Michael Jackson videos nonstop for the past 48 hours and I've spent a lof of time remembering how great they were and how the world used to stop for an MJ video premiere. I've also been thinking how much new music sucks. I seriously can't imagine most of the shit we listen to today to ever be considered "classic." Songs about titties and tennis shoes and shit. Surely nothing to raise your Bic in the air for. I'll just shut up now before I have to start shaking my cane in the air in disgust.
Tomorrow begins phase one of restructuring my life. Several things need to be restructured.
3. Cleaning-the-house routine/finish unpacking
4. Limiting my internet time to one hour per nite
5. Go to sleep at a godly hour
6. Stop wasting so much money on bullshit.
I figure I am giving myself a year to get all this shit in order. A year is a long time. But it can also be wasted and fly by like nothing. Every year of my life has passed by so far with little to no change from the year before and every year I get a little more bitter and tiny bit more hopeless. Since it seems that I'm only getting older and fatter, may as well start working on it now. Plus, I'm tired of my leg hurting and never having any money. And I'm sick of these fucking boxes everywhere. I need to de-junkify my life.
So I'm going grocery shopping after work tomorrow and only buying the ESSENTIALS. I hope this works. Wait, this will work. I can make it work. I am adapting the can-do attitude of Billy Mays. This will work, or my money back.
Friday, June 26, 2009
I guess in some ways I feel sad because I always thought his life was a little sad. Maybe it's weird but I kinda viewed him in the same way that you think of a young child with a terminal illness. Like, it's just sad that they never had a chance to live a normal life. He went all crazy every now and then but his life was always such a fucking circus, like, what normal person could come from that? All I know is that he had some kick-ass tunes and he was a fucking legend.
And as far as legends go, there aren't that many left, so it's worse to see one go at a pretty young age. I will be sad when Prince dies. Little purple coffin. That will ruin my day. I will be close to inconsolable when Aretha Franklin dies. She is a bad-ass bitch and my big fat hero. Seriously, love. I know there are others still worthy of admiration, but these are the ones for me.
I think another thing that's weird about Michael Jackson dying is that it was from cardiac arrest. He was always so child-like. I dunno, some part of me fully expected him to die like in a tragic ferris wheel accident or like from falling off a trampoline or something. Heart attacks are for old people, not legendary childlike sprights. Jeff said he's sure it's drug-related. He also said it was weird that David Carradine died from auto-erotic asphyxiation and MJ died from a heart attack and that the universe got it backwards. I told him to go away and let me watch Billie Jean in peace.
I guess the only thing that matters now is that those songs will live forever. No matter what he did or didn't do in life, you can't deny his music is fun and awesome. Plus, in the immortal words of Dave Chappelle, "He made Thriller, man...THRILLER!" And as his final act, he did something no one has done for as long as I can remember. He made MTV play actual music videos during prime time on a Thursday night. R.I.P dude.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Click here to print out the coupon.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
I mean, there's only ten numbers, and I write numbers all day long, so even having to re-learn 1/10 of them is a giant pain in the ass. And furthermore, I ask you, who gives a fuck?
The day started oddly enough with tacos. Frances brought them in for everyone. She walks by and puts 2 tacos and 2 little sauce packets on my desk and smiles and says "I brought breakfast!" So sweet. So secretly evil disguised as trying-to-be-nice sweet. First off, I can't eat tacos for breakfast, I will die. I will be dead. She's in her 50s so why is SHE even eating tacos for breakfast? I don't get these people.
I didn't wanna seem rude so I took them to the lunchroom with me on my break and found some courier dudes who gladly ate them. Whew.
Also, I guess I'm not going on my FREECATION. Bleh. I assumed everyone knew I don't have my car on the weekends so when they told me to call and get the room, I also assumed someone would be giving me a ride. Turns out no one has room in their car for me because everyone and their distant third cousin got in on this free offer. Plus, everyone's going with like their husbands and shit and I hate being the third wheel...or like...87th wheel. Whatever. I only spent the first 25 years of my life being that annoying tagalong, so no thanks. It really only bothers me because my inner cheapskate is pissed at me. She'll get over it too.
When I got home and came online and saw this:
What the eff? This is wrong for several reasons. First of all, WHO WAS USING MY COMPUTER?? Despite what you may think about me, I would not GOOGLE hardcore pornography. That's far too general of a term, plus I got bookmarks for that kinda shit, you know? Jeff has his own computer and the only other person who was at my house today is his mom so I am fucking perplexed. On one hand, maybe I did it and don't remember, which would be bad. But on the other hand, maybe his mom comes to our house to masturbate, which would be worse. LOSE/Lose.
This has been a weird day.
Anyway, here's my daily high five, as promised:
1. I had an awesome nap after work!
2. TJ said I could have her old camera, SWEET!
3. My new shirts came from Zaftique*...ah, clearance <3
4. Jeff found my iPod cord today...finally new tunes!
5. Jack Sh*t wrote me a poem without even having to lose a half pound like the rest of you suckers! Wanna read it? Of course you do, that goes without saying:
It's clearly a love sonnet. Bagged another one, what can I say? I'll try to let him down easy, guys. Have fun losing that half pound, dudez!
That's it for now. Hey tomorrow, be better! Tired of these days bossin' me around.
*I know most people who read this blog aren't as fat as me, but IF you are of a comparable size, I would suggest checking this store out. Sign up for their emails and they'll let you know when they have a clearance sale and if you act FAST, you can get good work-type shirts for like 3-4 bucks. Plus, they're cut with a true fattie in mind because they like to accentuate the tits, even for smallbies like mine, so it's a good thing. Normally they're way overpriced though, well for me because I am cheap. K bye!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Then earlier I was talking to my brother today about how I lost my camera/begging for a new one and he's all "hey, remember when we used to steal?" Ugh, I remember! I'm not talking about like a piece of candy here, I mean...we used to freaking steal. A lot. We had quite a little racket going between him, my sister-in-law, me and my niece.
My brother and my neice would go into Target and steal a few boxes of those overpriced Isotoner gloves (the OJ gloves!) Then they'd come out to the car, and we'd drive to another Target. Then me and my sister-in-law would take the gloves in for an exchange. So we'd use the store credit to buy all the big shit my brother couldn't stuff down his pants...like...a freaking Christmas tree! And ornaments. And all the other various Christmas stuff we didn't have. My mom was in the hospital and we just wanted to make it nice for her so I didn't think what we were doing was all that evil.
BUT...thinking back on it, I'm like JESUS CHRIST I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH WE USED TO STEAL. I mean, we grew up poor. Well, we're still poor, but I couldn't imagine stealing ANYTHING these days. Plus I'm overly paranoid about it. Like if I open a soda in a store, I make a big deal about taping the reciept to the bottle so there's no one like "HEY! I recognize that girl! She's that fat little theif from the Great Glove Caper of 1989! GET HER, GUYS!"
Oh lordy. Still get kinda queasy to my stomach thinking about doing that sneaky shit.
But you know, I GREW UP. I learned that stealing is wrong and that it's just not worth going to jail or losing my job or whatever else just for like...a new camera (swoon.) I would never even dream of it these days.
Here comes the point of this post...I need to grow the fuck up about food! I had my fried fun! It's time to grow up and realize that eating a plate full of fat and grease isn't worth the consequences. Yes, I want to eat junk, but I'm old enough now to know that it's not fucking worth it.
I wonder why I was so effectively able to learn to say no to stealing, because, believe me, I HATE PAYING FOR THINGS, but I just do it. Because I HAVE to. So now I need that same switch in my head to go off and tell me that I HAVE to eat better. Hurry up, you stupid switch!
That being said, I did eat pretty well today. The only tiny baby slipup was one pineapple LifeSaver because I was falling asleep at work. But that ain't no thang.
Here's today's HIGH FIVE!
1. Goin' to trivia!
2. Jeff found the spare set of keys...YES!
3. Good eats.
4. Frozen yogurt!
5. Talking to my brother always fills me with LOLz.
See ya tomorrow!
P.S. Don't judge my stealing ways! I was young and impressionable and I just wanted to have a nice Christmas for my poor sick mommy and and and...I really wanted that Jem Doll.
Monday, June 22, 2009
#1: Watermelon...and lots of it!
3. What’s for dinner?
4. What’s the last thing you bought?
Sunday, June 21, 2009
I have every right to hate him given the circumstances, but I guess for the most part, I don't. I do hate the way he treated my mom like shit her whole life and now gets to play the whole poor sad widower part like he lost the great love of his life. The truth is that my mom pulled a fast one by dying first and leaving him to fend for himself for the first time in his life. It's not something easy to learn in your 70s. So I fluctuate between these feelings of "I'm sorry you have to go through this" and "KARMA IS A BITCH!" I dunno. It's hard to keep the peace sometimes when I listen to him go off on his "woe is me" tangents. He lived his whole life treating us like shit, and now he questions even the slightest hint of animosity against him. There's major denial, that's all I'll say.
I still do my best to call him every other day even though he mostly talks about the same five subjects:
-how much my sisters disrespect him
-how he's tired of my sister-in-law decorating the house
-how much money he still owes on that truck he can't afford
-how much he misses me being around to "aggravate" (read: torture)
-how he's sick of these mexicans taking over every goddamn thing...sigh.
Anytime I start to feel sorry for my dad, I remember the time my mom was crying in the bathroom and I walked in to see what was wrong. I was seven years old and she said to me "I wish I could just die to get away from HIM." That one sentence pretty much fucked with me my entire life. It's like a Get Out of Guilt Free Card.
Oh well, Happy Father's Day and whatnot. If you're a dad, be nice to your kids. One day you'll be an old jerk and you'll need someone to buy you out-of-stock deodorant and not everyone's as nice as me. SO yeah.
Friday, June 19, 2009
I've been having this weird anxious feeling in my chest for like the last 12 hours and it won't go away.
I started to panic so I thought it would be best to have it checked out. They did an EKG but it came back normal. My blood pressure and blood sugar were okay too, not great, but not terrible either.
The doctor kept asking me if I was depressed or having suicidal thoughts. Maybe he was just screening before he prescribed some anti-anxiety pill for me, but it's still weird to have someone ask you that kinda stuff so persistantly. My answers were just like "not a lot." I assume most people get down from time to time. Being a constant social outcast definitely adds a little more to the mix, but I think for the mostpart I don't dwell too much on the negative.
It bothers me that I'm 31 and I've had 5 EKGs in my lifetime. All within the past two years. It bothers me that I have every warning sign and I take a shot and 6 pills a day and I'm totally aware of what I'm doing to myself yet I still do it. It bothers me that I'm not in control of my bad habits by this point knowing full well what the consequences are.
I wonder how many other people my age are up at 3am researching the symptons of a heart attack and wondering if it's worth the dramatic scene of calling 911 or if it's just really bad heartburn. I would bet not many. It's so frustrating. I judge myself the same way I would judge a crack addict knowingly killing themselves with no regards to their friends and family. That's essentially what I'm doing.
The doctor asks what causes my depression and the only thing I can think to say is disappointment. I'm disappointed that I let this become my life. At such a young age too. I don't have kids or a husband or a mortgage or a degree, but I do have diabetes and heart problems. That sucks.
He prescribed me Xanax and told me not to take them often and to try to get a good night's sleep. So I guess I'll go try to do that.
I know it's not too late for me to get myself out of this mess.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
One point I would like to address, is her screenshots of our chats. They're kind of B.S. really, when you get right down to it. She seems to go out of her way to pick ones that portray me in a less than flattering light (which I can do just fine on my own, thank you very much). If I was an asshole I could skim through them, and post the ones where she is all "BRB, gotta poop", but I'm nicer than that.
We're getting a new server at work. This means the internet is all fine and dandy, but the database won't work. It's like fate that I have to blog. They brought me in the room to test out our database, and the uber nerds that installed the server were in there. I said, "Is today the 17th?" so I could run a sample report, and the head nerd was like "Yep, all day long!", then proceeded to laugh at his own joke for the next twenty minutes. Dude was whack.
Peace out my pretties.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Friday, June 5, 2009
Well, I got my box today! Hoorah! I still haven't mailed mines out because I thought I would maybe find some cool stuff in San Fran to send along, but that was mostly a bust. Oh well, patience is a virtue and virtues are good for the soul. And since I got Dina...well, enough said.
Anywho, my package was AWESOME! I got so much stuff! Cool cool stuff that made me giggle with elation, YES, elation. At first I was a little concerned that she would try to mail me a box full of Jehova's Witness propaganda but luckily, I think she forgot. I took some pictures...you guys wanna see? COOL LOOK BELOW PLEASE THANKS...
BOOK SAFE! + Booklights + Air fresheners + Awesome bottle + Giant paper clips!