Tuesday, February 24, 2009

They're nature's candy!

Day 2...Fiber One Raisin Bran Clusters is pretty good, but the clusters are weird. Less clusters, more raisins, says I.

I went to Sonic late last nite to grab a diet Limeade because I thought it was the safest thing to do since I just wanted SOMETHING. As I was paying, the cute little teenager at the window said something that I couldn't figure out. It was like this...
"Blah blah blah!"
"Huh?"
"Blah blahblah blah BLAH!"
"Oh...okay!"
And I drove away.
Apparently I can't speak teenager anymore :(
I got like a mile down the street before I realized I was wearing Jeff's Iron Maiden shirt and the kid was saying "Cool Maiden shirt!...I like your Maiden shirt!"
NERTS! My one chance to feel cool in front of the youth of America, and I ruined it with my Granny-like hearing! What's that, sonny?

Side note: Far be it for me, of all people, to think that I should give people advice on dieting. My "one-week-ON, four-weeks-OFF" approach hasn't really been working out for me, but STILL, even a non-loser like me knows a thing or six about dieting. So there's this lady that sits next to me at work that says that she is on a "strict" diet. She's doing some things right...like...she eats a freaking bag of celery a day, I swear. All day all I hear is "CHOMP... crunchcrunchcrunch... CHOMP... crunchcrunchcrunch... (repeat 40million times.)" BUT...it's her cereal in the morning that's killing me. It's not that cereal is a bad choice, it's just the portion size. It is the hugest bowl I've ever seen anyone eat cereal in, including Jethro from The Beverly Hillbillies. It's gotta be at least half a box of raisin bran or shredded wheat or whatever happens to be the flavor du jour.

So the next time I hear her complaining about how she doesn't understand why she's not losing, should I say something? I wanna teach her the ways of the measuring cup, but I don't wanna feel like an asshole. "Who's this fat bitch trying to teach me about dieting?" <---That is what I DON'T want. But if I was really trying to diet whole-heartedly and there was something that I was doing wrong, I'd want someone to tell me. So...what do you think I should do?

9 comments:

TJ said...

I've been in that situation before and from past experience I have learned to just keep my mouth shut. I don't agree with many of the eating habits of fellow bloggers but I offer cheers when they do lose weight. :)

Man shes gotta be starving to eat an entire bag of celery! lol

:)tj

Kate said...

I'd probably not say anything to her. Dieting is such a touchy subject that, really, unless someone actually ASKS you for your advice (i.e., don't eat so much cereal, woman!) it is probably best (and safest!) to not give it.

Susan said...

I had a similar thing happen at work. I had a co-worker, a rather large chick,who was constantly bragging about doing 100 bicep curls every morning. After hearing this several times, I finally told her that if she was really doing 100 reps, her weights were not heavy enough. She was quite offended and stormed off to talk to a body builder co-worker, who told her the exact same thing. She did, however, tell me that I was right and that she had no idea that this was the case. So you never know, huh?

Jim said...

"Far be it for me, of all people, to think that I should give people advice on dieting. My "one-week-ON, four-weeks-OFF" approach hasn't really been working out for me..."

"one-week-ON, four-weeks-OFF"

LOL!

wildfluffysheep said...

I think you should tell her. As long as you do it in a not so condescending way. Trying to help people isn't a crime. Worst comes to worst she doesn't listen to you and continues on. Tune it out.

If I was doing something wrong I would want to be told. Might not want to hear at first but I am not stupid, I can take postive criticism mostly. :p

Dina said...

Yeah, I would totally xnay the ellingtay idea. She is going to think you're a tool, no matter how nicely you put it.

I used to bring animal crackers to work to "tide me over" then eat a shit ton worth of calories of them. I knew on some level, but I figured it HAD to be better than the other shit I eat.

So, you know.....

Calypso Rain said...

If she's just some "tool" you just have to work with then let her figure it out, but if you really like the girl then maybe you can find a way to start a conversation and share articles with her and then SNEAK one in on measuring.

bbubblyb said...

This is my first time to your blog, thanks for the laughs. I was cracking up because I kept wondering if this is what my cube neighbor thinks of me with all my eating (i'm an apple girl myself lol) lol. Anyway, think I would just not say anything. I've come to realize people really don't want advice.

twinkelydots said...

moving up.

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