Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Invisible is the new black.

Gettin' kinda tired of coming in 4th place at trivia. We always seem to lose it in the last round over some bullshit question about like 1940s golf or something. Infuriating! Plus, we keep losing by like ONE point. That's the killer. At least if it's a blowout, you can laugh about it. When you lose by one point, it's like...FUCK! Oh well, it's just a game, yadda yadda blah blah blah, right? RIGHT!

The important thing was that I had some great jokes tonight and kept the table laughing. Nothing makes me happier than making other people crack up. The ultimate insult to me is when someone's like "Yeah, well, she's not as funny as the THINKS she is!" Hate that! It's not like I think I'm the most hilarious person in the world (top 5 maybe...heh), but I hate when people act like I'm some comedic elitist just because I make a joke out of everything. Life is too fucking short to not be laughing about shit. Stop being so freaking serious.

Oh well, like Carlos says, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.

I keep taking my camera to trivia every week in hopes of catching a picture of that dude on the team that sits next to us that looks like a Dave Grohl/Napoleon Dynamite hybrid and makes me swoon nonstop. I feel like I'm always staring at him. Maybe that's why he sits with his back towards me now. But...well, he was like that when I got there, so maybe it's just a coincidence. That dude is like two two two crushes in one. I want to marry him and spend the rest of my life going "don't you think he looks like Dave Grohl with a pot belly? Yeah! I think so too!"

I think when it comes to crushes, I keep my standards pretty low. I don't go for the Brad Pitts, I go for like...the nerds and the fats. Maybe it's some kinda subconscious self esteem issue, like thinking I shouldn't overshoot my expectations...even in fantasy land. But on the other hand, since they never pay attention to me anyway, maybe if they were at least super hot, I could feel okay about it.

I suffer from fat invisibility. I barely even exist in public except for when some dude has to play Spot the Whale with his frat buddies. Otherwise, I'm seriously not even there. Very rarely does anyone ever make eye contact with me. It's kinda stupid. Like, if you look at me, and I smile trying to be polite, it's okay to smile back. I won't start licking my chops and envisioning how I'm gonna tackle and rape you. Jesus. Maybe it's all in my head. I had a couple drinks so I'm rambling for sure. Sorry.

Anyway, Chuck blogged. You can check that out if you want. I go seep now. To dream about hybrids making eye contact.

18 comments:

Diana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
big_mummy said...

dont be silly tricia, if they make eye contact with us then they CATCH fatness. didnt you know??? nothing wrong with nerds and geeks anyway!

so if i make eye contact with you.... do you promise to tackle and rape me, because i just dont see the point in looking up for anything less.

Diana said...

Tricia, you are FUNNY! Definitely one of the top five funniest people I know, and I know some pretty hysterical people that could easily make a living at standup.

About the invisibility cloak that comes with being fat, been there, done that. People ignored me too when I was fat, it was like I didn't exist. Especially with men (even fat men) and very skinny women.

After a while I stopped even trying to make eye contact with people, which compounded the problem. I took on that head down maybe they won't see me personna. A very lonely, self-esteem destroying stance to take.

Now I look everyone in the eye and say hello. 99% of the time I get a response. Sometimes I get the eyes to the ground don't look up response. Now I kow it's them, not me. Before I always thought it was me, not them.

Trust me though, it's not you, it's people and their stupid fear of fat people, like we're contagious or something.

My opinion is that they're just a bunch of freaking idiots if they won't make eye contact and say hello. Or socially unskilled, or mentally depraved or all three.

Keep your head up, smile, and say hello. To hell with them if they don't respond. Their loss for passing the chance to know a super funny, wonderful person like yourself. :)

Losing it in Vegas said...

Geeks and nerds rule! I had enough of the cool guys in high school. They all turned out to be losers.

Quick fix for invisibility, dye your hair purple and have 37 tattoos and 100 piercings...works every time, no matter your size!

screwdestiny said...

So, I'm thinking it's just where you live. I'm a PYT, and when I lived in a big city, people seriously gave me weird looks when I tried to smile at them or something. I think everyone's just gotten less friendly nowadays...

Oh, and you're hella funny. This blog always gives me a good laugh.

arielcircleofnine said...

people are fucking nuts. dont bother trying to analyze them, I think Dinas got it right, they've all got their own issues!! and you ARE hilarious; fuck em!

anne h said...

I know, right? People tell a fat joke then look around, like, uh, uh, I'm sorry....Maybe the "big city" theory is right...

A Daunting Tale of Scale Warfare said...

I love geeks and nerds...I actually spent a lot of time my freshman year in college making out with a guy that looked JUST LIKE DAVE GROHL (who is a local here by the way!) He's such a cutie. Seriously, we met at a frat party and I called him Dave Grohl all night, I tend to knickname boys, sometimes I never bothered to call them by their real names.

You are hilarious....youre easily one of the funniest, if not the funniest blogger that I read.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

From past experience, I've found that when I lose weight, I gain a ton of self-confidence, almost a swagger, that makes me project myself out better than when I'm feeling fat and self-conscious.

I think that there's a lot of shy people in the world, and when we're self-conscious anyways, we draw more into ourselves. It's almost like a self-fulfilling prophesy.

As always, it could be that I'm simply full of sh*t.

TJ said...

I love my nerd! lol

Sorry that you lost at trivia- losing by one point does suck. Id rather be blown out.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

I hate that invisible feeling. The only time I didn't feel invisible is when there were drunk men around ogling my breastage, or when I was tagging along with a friend and was used as her wing woman. Blah.

TjRenee said...

Now you've got me really really wanting to see a pic of this guy. Like I need another dude to crush on. Heh.

Sorry about the loss in trivia. Sucks.

Yeah, I remember being invisible too. I wanted to turn around and slap them upside the back of their heads and say, 'hey dumbasses, I just smiled at you and you looked right through me. go fuck yourselves.' Yeah, like that would have helped. Oh well...

Carlos said...

funny, how? like i amuse you, like a clown?

Pam said...

I am totally for the geeks and nerds. They usually end up having spiffy jobs and a cushy living. I know. I'm married to one. And he always keeps me laughing. Pretty boys are SO boring!
I dunno but I kinda like being invisible. I wouldn't mind being invisible when I think about the vision from behind of my big ass when I'm on the bike. Good thing I only ride at night.
Geez I've MISSED READING YOUR BLOG GIRL! So good to be back!

She-Fit said...

I am really interested in seeing this guy now at your game night... I'm expecting a pic next time you go :)
... no excuses! haha

wildfluffysheep said...

Unlucky with the trivia shit, missus. bet it sucks goat arse.

i always feel like people avoid me because they think if they stand still long enough il eat them or something.

Trish said...

I know what you mean about the invisibile treatment. It's weird...I tiptoe quietly through life, trying not to take up too much space...trying not to draw attention to myself and cause people to notice how fat I am, (as if I'm hiding anything!) and then when I do get treated as if I don't exist, it pisses me off.

Messed up, I know.

P.S. You ARE a funny girl Tricia. Have you ever thought of doing stand-up?

Dina said...

what are you doing quoting carlos, like he's some celebrity?

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