Monday, March 1, 2010

Committed Committee.

So I weighed in for our Biggest Loser Challenge at work today. The scale said 400.0 which I fear might be a fluke. I don't like super round numbers like that because they seem untrue and like the scale is just all WHOA I DONT KNOW JUST SAY 400 SO SHE'LL GET OFF! My scale at home goes to 405 and it kept registering an error so I was thinking I was still above that. Plus, now I'm wearing clothes and these heavy ass shoes and it still says 400. SO...I dunno. If it's right, that's kinda awesome because that means I lost a pretty good amount for last week even though I have no real idea what that amount is because of my home scale being basically useless. If it's wrong, then...well, that would suck. It says it goes up to 440, so...I dunno. I'm just gonna say it's right and be optimistic.

In other news, I went to Jeff's neice's baby shower yesterday and it lasted SIX hours. Who in the hell thought this was a good idea? I was talking to his sister and she said something about their Baby Shower Committee Meetings and I'm all 'what in the world?' Are baby showers the new weddings or something? Six hours of playing weird baby games and having to stand up and give parenting advice and watching someone slowly unwrap what seemed to be about 500 onesies pretty much had me praying for death.

Who am I to give parenting advice? I don't even have kids. I advised them not to encourage the baby to cuss, because even though it's cute and hilarious, it will inevitably say FUCK really loud at a funeral awaiting giant laughs. A few people chuckled but then I got told I wasn't taking it "seriously" probably because I wasn't. It's a baby shower, not a wake. I see now why I have little to no contact with the outside world. Between the Greatful Dead tshirt and ripped jeans and total inexperience on all things baby and baby-like, I'm sure I did not successfully blend in. The only solution: Stop knowing pregnant people.

I pulled a winner for the giveaway, but I tried (unsuccessfully) to make a cool visual to display the name. I FAILED. I have failed thee, oh world of bloggers. I'll try again tonight after work and if it sucks again, I'll just post it in a regular ol' boring way. Nothing ever comes out as good as it is in my head. Inside my mind lies a glorious land of successful craft projects. I want to go to there.

Happy Monday.

15 comments:

Kim said...

Just curious, what kind of scale do you have? I've never been able to find one in stores that says it'll go over 350.

theantijared said...

Dude, just send me my F1 bars! What is the dilly!

Lisa said...

six hours for a baby shower? Geez!

- Lisa
http://inweighovermyhead.blogspot.com/

TC said...

The very idea of sitting for that joyless baby shower makes me want to curl up in the fetal position and cry. You poor woman!

Be grateful you didn't have to "guess the poop" in the ol' mash up chocolate bars and smear on diapers for people to sniff and...gulp...taste game. Gross.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Baby showers are about as fun as having a broken foot. Oh yeah you experienced that too! Poor Trish!

Kimmi said...

0.0 I am amazed that you stayed the whole six hours....I think my parenting advice would have been something along the lines of "Appreciate the six hours you've sat around here playing games, once that baby comes you'll miss each and every restful moment that was wasted..."

Prin said...

You poor thing:) Baby showers are only fun if you are the one getting free stuff lol

TJ said...

6 hours! that is pure hell! lol you wore shoes for your WI?? Next week take them off to be the big loser of the week! :)

100in12 said...

right there with you with baby showers. I can only be so polite and fake enthusiasm and "ooh and ahhh" for so long before i need to get out and listen to violent music or something.

i would have supported you with your answer! mine would have prob. been "don't forget to feed it?" with the question mark-inflection and everything.

Michelle said...

Six hours?? For a BABY shower? F&*k that!

Dina said...

Baby showers are hell on earth. "HOW MANY SQUARES OF TP CAN FIT AROUND HER BELLY TEE HEE".

Dude, you are brave, because there is no fucking way I would get on a scale at work. You can doo eett!

biz319 said...

A six hour baby shower? I'd poke my eyes out!!

I just posted my buffalo chicken soup - hope you give it a try and let me know! :D

Happy Tuesday Chica!

Anonymous said...

Off topic... but have you seen this?
http://lookatthisfatperson.com/

screwdestiny said...

I thought your advice was great! It's better than mine, anyhow, which would have been, "If your kid's misbehaving, and you don't want to get up to discipline them, just throw an orange at them. It'll get them to stop, and it generally doesn't leave a bruise." ;)

arielcircleofnine said...

Once, I opened the door to a church in the midst of some somber ceremony(back before I was a confirmed Heathen) and my 2 year old loudly yelled "HEY MOMMA, WHATS THAT CHURCH-MAN DOIN???!!?!" at the priest--but peppering that up with an explative or two wouldve been WAY cooler!

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