Friday, June 1, 2012

Harry Pooter and Sorcerer's Bone.

Religion is weird.

I guess I started questioning my faith about a decade ago when my mom died. I think I just kinda went with it before then because it mattered a lot to me that she thought I agreed with the stuff she taught me. Then she died, and I felt pretty haunted for the first year or so. Like...maybe some people find comfort in thinking that your loved ones are "looking over you" after they die...but I just find that to be creepy. It was during that time that I convinced myself that I didn't have to believe it anymore because it was better than feeling like I was going crazy with all these dead relatives watching me all the time.

Plus, I always hated church SO MUCH! Like, in some way, I guess I almost envy the way some people accept their faith fully and spend all this time congregating with like-minded people...like, the community aspect of it, I guess. But mostly I think religion is so vain! How do you just accept that what you believe is the right way? THE ONLY WAY? There are so many dang religions...how do you just decide yours is the one that matters and think everyone else is just wasting their time? It's like a dude that always wants a blow job but won't eat pussy. GET OVER YOURSELF. (side note: if god does exist, he probably won't be happy about me comparing his followers to bj-obsessed man sluts, but...ya know.)

I guess if I had to choose a religion, like if someone held a gun to my head and was like CHOOSE ONE (why would this ever happen, btw?), I would probably choose to be Team Jew. For all the wrong reasons, mostly. First of all, because almost all my favorite comedians are jewish, so at least they have a sense of humor. Secondly, because I have a SERIOUS attraction to jewish dudes. I don't know why...I just do. And thirdly, Bar Mitzvahs.

I went to a Bar Mitzvah! My first one! And it was SO FUN! Well, after the boring like reading all the Hebrew stuff and lighting a million candles and stuff. A religious rite of passage that includes a DJ, glow sticks, a photobooth with props (!!!), AND a sundae bar?? Yes, this is something I can certainly get behind! Plus all those dudes walking about with Seth Rogen Disease...yeah, let's do this! Plus, the party was Harry Potter themed! Like, I'm not a fan of the Potters, per se...but I like parties with themes and they really went all out. Aside from all the free stuff and the party atmosphere, I just liked that it didn't take itself too seriously. It made me want that feeling of like belonging to something. Not so much that I'd wanna learn Hebrew or anything, but it made me understand why people want this stuff in their lives.

No booze at bar mitzvahs though, it turns out.

Not that it stopped us from doing something totally innappropriate:


Turns out the family gets a copy of all the photos taken in the booth. That was fun to explain a month later...

Whoops.

Anyway, my point is...I'm FULLY okay with you believing whatever you want. Even the seriously crazy stuff! I don't try to make people feel bad for whatever they do or don't choose to believe. More people should be like me. Let gay people get married...let people have abortions if they want...and don't tell me to wear my stupid seatbelt! It's not your life...so leave it alone. The End.

In other news, they fired the super hot IT guy today. WOE IS ME! Am I the only one who NEEDS someone to crush on at work or else the days just seem unbearable?? He was my Jordan Catalano...sigh. We're gonna go drink after work in mourning for the hot piece of ass we'll probably never see again. LIFE IS AWFUL!



4 comments:

Katy said...

Amazeballs!

Janell said...

I don't know what's worse -- the death of your dad or the departure of the IT guy.

Janell said...

Love the photos too. I was just thinking about you last week and wondering WTF!?

Linda Pressman said...

Welcome to Team Jew! Hey, I'm planning my daughter's Bat Mitzvah for October and we're totally having an open bar! Now, it's not for the 13-year-olds, but still, an open bar!

Post a Comment