As I mentioned in a slightly earlier post, I've been going out a lot more recently. Recently being about the last 6-7 months or so. One day I just decided that being home sucks, so I started saying YES to literally any invitation I was given...even the weird/crappy ones. It's like I'm the living embodiment of that semi-okay Jim Carrey movie from a couple years ago! (not Cable Guy.)
Going out gives me a certain level of confidence. I feel like it's forcing me out of my depression, even if only for a few hours. But as with everything in my life, there's always someone ever-so-willing to remind me that I'm outta place.
Situation: Saturday night I went to this Nevada Women's Money Conference thing all day for work. Decided to meet up with some friends on Fremont Street (i.e. Old Las Vegas) for drinks. ALL NIGHT, I was having a GREAT time. Seriously...fun conversation, feeling comfortable, laughing my ass off...just a good night, in general. Hours pass. It's roughly 1am and our group of 7 has dwindled down to just me and my friend Erik sitting at the bar talking.
This dude walks up and pushes his way in between us at the bar. I decide to make conversation because he's literally four inches away from my face already, so why not?
Me: That's a good beard, dude. (Side note: I like facial hair a LOT!)
Interrupting Douchebag: (hereby to be referred to as ID, for short!) Thanks. What kinda whiskey should I get?
Me: Um, Maker's Mark.
ID: (to bartender) One Maker's Mark on the rocks.
ID: (to Erik) Why are you drinking PBR? Is it cheap?
Me: It's 4 bucks. But all the other beers are 5 bucks, so I say pay the extra dollar and get what you want.
ID: That makes sense. You should work here, you're good at pushing booze.
Me: Yeah, that's why I sit here. They call me The Closer.
ID: I get it! Like she's pretty, and you're smart!
Me: ....Dang. That's kinda insulting to both of us, don't you think?
ID: Oh. Well, she might be smart...I never talked to her before.
ID: Did you want a drink or something? (oblivious or just a jerk??)
Me: Uhhhh, no, I think I'm done drinking tonight.
Erik: You may as well take the free drink, the damage is done now.
He was right. So I ordered a $10 shot, downed it, then we left.
I mean, seriously, like I need some jerk with a decent beard to randomly come up and remind me that I'm not all that attractive. Thanks, really.
I KNOW I shouldn't let it bother me. But it's bad enough to have those insecurities, then to have someone confirm it for you is just a real kick in the teeth. I KNOW I shouldn't let the "opinion" of one douchey frat boy ruin an otherwise great night, but JEEZ. Have a little tact, at least.
That kinda stuff makes me remember why I spent so many nights locked in my room making excuses for the few invites I did receive to go out. As I get older, I find myself caring less and less what the world thinks of me. Especially since, in general, I'm not a big fan of most people out there anyway.
Also, that dude can go suck a bag of dicks. The End.