You know you had one sparkley glove.

I'm gonna do the cliche thing here and weigh in on this Michael Jackson business. I'm sad. Like, to a surprising degree. I'm not one to usually get all emotional about a celebrity. The only celebrity I can remember openly weeping for was Chris Farley (still pisses me off!) It's weird when someone famous dies because it's not like you know them, but they're still a part of your life to some degree. I was pretty fanatical about MJ during my elementary school days, and I never lost respect for his talent or his music.

I guess in some ways I feel sad because I always thought his life was a little sad. Maybe it's weird but I kinda viewed him in the same way that you think of a young child with a terminal illness. Like, it's just sad that they never had a chance to live a normal life. He went all crazy every now and then but his life was always such a fucking circus, like, what normal person could come from that? All I know is that he had some kick-ass tunes and he was a fucking legend.

And as far as legends go, there aren't that many left, so it's worse to see one go at a pretty young age. I will be sad when Prince dies. Little purple coffin. That will ruin my day. I will be close to inconsolable when Aretha Franklin dies. She is a bad-ass bitch and my big fat hero. Seriously, love. I know there are others still worthy of admiration, but these are the ones for me.

I think another thing that's weird about Michael Jackson dying is that it was from cardiac arrest. He was always so child-like. I dunno, some part of me fully expected him to die like in a tragic ferris wheel accident or like from falling off a trampoline or something. Heart attacks are for old people, not legendary childlike sprights. Jeff said he's sure it's drug-related. He also said it was weird that David Carradine died from auto-erotic asphyxiation and MJ died from a heart attack and that the universe got it backwards. I told him to go away and let me watch Billie Jean in peace.

I guess the only thing that matters now is that those songs will live forever. No matter what he did or didn't do in life, you can't deny his music is fun and awesome. Plus, in the immortal words of Dave Chappelle, "He made Thriller, man...THRILLER!" And as his final act, he did something no one has done for as long as I can remember. He made MTV play actual music videos during prime time on a Thursday night. R.I.P dude.