Eff.

It's been a busy day here and I've been trying to get as much work done as possible. My desk is finally free and clear of all pending BS...whew. On Friday, they laid off nine people at my job. That...sucks. My boss says that my department has been "justified" as far as the staff goes, which means we all have enough work to do to still be here, but there's still a big feeling of uneasiness in the air. Oh well, I'm gonna try to not stress about it for now. I'll have plenty of time to stress when/if the time comes.

I think we're going to trivia tonite so I went to go get my daily call to Dad outta the way on my last break. That was a bad idea. He's like practically begging me to call my sister and get her to talk to him. That is, if she'll even take MY call. I told him I really don't wanna get involved in this shit but he was like pleading in a very pathetic way. Sincerity isn't exactly my dad's forte, so I can hardly ever say no to it. Then his voice cracked and I was like..."fine." What can I do? As much as I wanna stay far far away from this whole fucked up situation, I also don't have it in me to listen to an old man cry.

My sister is a real cut-throat type of person. Like...if you piss her off, she'll automatically think to say the worst thing she can possibly think to say about you no matter who's around. I can't even count the number of times I've heard her announce to a guy in public "OH YEAH, WELL THAT'S WHY YOU GOT A LITTLE DICK, YOU LITTLE DICK BASTARD." Like, come on, dude. Keep that shit indoors at least. Of course for me, it's always the same..."fat bitch."

Like, bitch is bad enough, why do we gotta add adjectives? But then again, maybe "bitch" isn't an insult to her since she's one of those people who will say some cliche bullshit like "Yeah, I'm a bitch, and proud of it!" or...her infamous bumper sticker of "That's MS BITCH to you!" Bleh. I hate that shit. Why would anyone WANT to be something that's universally hated? That trend was fucking lost on me.

But I digress...yeah, she can never have an argument with me without throwing my fatness into it. I mean, on one hand, I guess it's a good thing, cause it's all she's got.

But still, I mean, I don't bring up her obvious physical shortcomings and throw them on to the insults I hurl. I don't even hurl insults! I try to keep it civil and make actual points instead of just bringing up inconsequential shit like her chain-smoking, uber-controlling, crypt-keeper-looking, leathery skin-having, can't-keep-a-man-ing. NO. I could bring lots of shit up, but I don't. Cause I wanna talk about the issue at hand, not just have some hate-filled argument. Gah, she is fucking impossible and now I gotta spend all evening dealing with this shit and it SUCKS.

The fact of the matter is that, yes, my sister has had a shitty hard life. I've spent a fucking lifetime making excuses for her. I finally realize that having a rough life doesn't give you free reign to ruin the lives of everyone around you. She's just a miserable person and she only cares about herself. Sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade.

And even after all the bullshit, all the shitty things that she's done, I would STILL be there if she needed me. As would the rest of my family. And she knows that. And that's why she has no remorse. I don't get her...at all.

Plus, I'm pretty sure my other sister is back on junk and I can't even THINK about that shit right now or my head will officially explode. These are shitty times.

And all I want right now is to bury my head in a fucking gallon of ice cream and I can't even do that because Dina would be all over my ass. Thanks...(humph.)

Man...

Stress.