Tonite...we dine in hell.

Before I get started...if you weren't around for the introduction of Project 300, kindly click HERE and join in on the fun!

I think the giveaway will be 300 things. To one lovely person. That's a lot of things. I haven't decided what things yet, but I promise no cheese puffs or some other fatty gag like that.

Side note: I wonder how long it would take a person to put down 300 cheese puffs? I remember once in fatter days, we bought one of those barrels of cheese balls from Sam's. You know the ones? Like a fat little plastic barrel full of finger-staining-artery-cloggin' goodness. I remember thinking that it was like the fattest thing I ever ate. In hindsight, I'm sure that's not true. BUT...I think sitting on the bed watching Top Chef reruns and eating from a barrel pretty much is like the prescription for an early death.

Now I just gotta get that barrel full of pork rinds. No carbs! From here on out, I would like all my food to be in barrel form.

Enough about barrels, GEEZ. I challenge any of you to use that word five times in one cohesive blog post. Winner gets a Barrel of Monkeys. Oh shit, make that six!

In other more boring barrel-less (7!) news, my boss made like a weird comment about my weight today. Since we started the challenge thing at work, I've lost roughly 14 pounds. We were standing around gabbing like a bunch of old hens and I was bitching that losing 14 out of 400 ain't gonna get it. Then she was like "I can totally tell you've lost weight." And I was like "uh yeah, okay." And she's like "no, seriously, like in your...(makes hand gesture)...this area."

For the record, the hand gesture was the equivalent of like a circle around my neck/chins area. So...like, my neck fat. So I said "you mean my neck fat? You can say it!" She looked at me like I just said I was a martian or something. NECK. FAT. It's a thing, and I have it. 2.5 chins leading into a fatty neck. My beard of fat. I'M okay with it, why can't she be?

Apparently it's one of those words she won't say. Like how she always says "oh my heck!" instead of "oh my god!" Mormons, you know? Thou shalt not mention thy neighbor's beard of fat.

Anywho, since it does indeed exist, and she noticed it going away-ish, that's a great thing! I accept it, but that don't mean I want it. Like herpes....Wait, what in the hell? Heck. I meant heck.

This got weird. I don't really have herpes. If I do, someone's got some 'splainin' to do! Like the opposite of Mary. Immaculate clap. This ends NOW.

Did someone mention something about 'cohesive'? Feel free to pray for my soul at will. Thanks!