Monday, March 23, 2009

Got a little captain in me...

Hmm, I did okay today until dinner. We had Long John Silver's. Sick! Man, I don't even like that place, so like wtf body? I dunno, before I knew what I was doing, I was in a drive thru ordering. Well, that's not true. I knew what I was doing. Sigh. I just wanted something cheap and fried to negate a day of romaine lettuce and blackberries. God, how am I ever gonna do this if I can't get past day one? What a total downer.

I think I get a high from fast food. I am giddy as shit WHILE I'm eating it. Then comes the regret. Just like crack. Or so I've been told...eh. Suddenly I realize all the fried fish is gone and I'm left with that heartburny "WHY DID I DO THAT?" afterthough...and wondering where my TV went. Is it crass to say I think bulimics have it easy? Well...that's not true either. I truly do hate throwing up. Then again, I've never tried it for sport...so who knows? BULIMIA IS A SERIOUS CONDITION AND YOU ARE BEING A WHINY BITCH, TRICIA. Oh yeah. Sorry dudes.

I'm pretty sure I'm gonna end up killing Jeff pretty soon. Tonight he was in the computer room playing cheesey songs at ear-splitting decibels. I ended up going to take a bath to get away from it. So like whatever, I'm in the bathtub and I got my blackhead-clearing face masque shit on and a song comes on that I know so I get into it. Okay, so maybe it's lame to be singing along to Wanted Dead or Alive like REALLY fucking loud in the bathtub, but I can't help who I am. Until I hear laughing and not only is he standing there laughing at me but he is recording it! VIOLATION! I'm chunking half-empty shampoo bottles at him at a feverish pace and nothing works so I had to get up and slam the door to make the madness stop.

I got my exersize ramsacking my apartment looking for the damn camera before I end up being the next fat kid YouTube sensation. I don't want my 15 minutes that way, people! Ugh. As soon as I find that camera, he is going down. I can't kill him yet because then I may never find it. Seriously, who would do that to someone they love? Well...I would do that. BUT this is me we're talking about, so it's totally unacceptable. I gotta find that goddamn camera. If you guys happen to see a pasty white blob in a bathtub putting Bon Jovi to shame, just sheild your eyes. LOOK AWAY! I'll be flying away to wherever they don't have internets and filing for common-law divorce.

I got a headache. I go seep now. Tomorrow will be better!

If any of you are having a hard time like me right now, I leave you with these three words:

12 comments:

Tony said...

Damn that catchy guitar riff.

Maybe gradual change would help. It's hard to do the whole all or nothing approach---at least for me. I try to find balance. As long as I eat healthy most of the time, a slip up once in a while isn't a problem. Also, are you eating enough?

May said...

Youll be the next Granny Panties. I hope you get that reference lol

MizFit said...

not a downer as this is YOUR BLOG.
YOUR PLACE TO VENT.

it is a struggle and I have no answers...I posted today about what works for me.
but it took me a while to find it.

you will as well.

Dina said...

You seriously need to hurt him. Put the fear in that boy! My suggestion would be to tell him unless he wants to end up like John Bobbitt, he better hand over the camera. Guys love that reference. It makes them feel all tingly inside.

TJ said...

LOL HANG IN THERE!
I rocked out the other day to Living on a Prayer in the car. lol
Id kill my BF if he recorded me in the tub, although mine is challenged in all things electronics...so I have no worries.

:)tj

Carlos said...

lol too funny...
@may zach and miri?

HopeFool said...

I get high from fast food, and Jon Bon gets me going too. However my bf (now dh) would be dead before he hit the floor for pulling a stunt like that. (He can't post anything withing a pulse.)

Pam said...

My husband listens to all kinds of cool shit from the '80's like the Pixies and the Replacements. And me? I'm into Abba and opera. Who says that you have to be the same to get along?
Ahhh yes. The drive home passing by the fast food joints is a painful one. And even worse when you're hungry and it's dinner time. At the risk of sounding like a stupidly optimistic weight loss know it all, I do have a couple of suggestions. 1. Plan a new route home. 2 Eat something before you leave for home that way you're not so hungry on the drive. 3. Stick a Bon Jovi CD in your car player and blast it really loud every time you pass a fast food joint so that you're more worried about what the people in the next car are thinking and your hunger is temporarily forgotten.

wildfluffysheep said...

Fast food is like crack. Seriously is the devil *nods slowly*

maybe you could just beat him into submission? could be fun.....

Kate said...

My boyfriend has a video of me rocking out to Journey (they are so my band!) hidden somewhere in the depths of his hard drive. I cannot imagine that humiliation that I would feel if that were ever posted on YouTube or the like, and I'm not even naked in the video! Good luck finding the camera!

My Big Fat Super Super Obese Blog said...

LMMFAO: omg that is so not cool! the whole naked bon jovi scene your bf taped. Even if you find that camera, payback must be in the works.

As for the long john silvers....again, totally feelin' you chickadee. I've had YEARS of mondays where I never made it through the first day on a diet. So stop looking at it as you blew the whole day. You ate GREAT for breakfast and lunch. Shoot for eating "good" more than 50% of your intake right now if thats all you can manage. If you happen to make it through an entire day...more power to ya, just don't give up k?

twinkelydots said...

moving up

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