Hmm, I did okay today until dinner. We had Long John Silver's. Sick! Man, I don't even like that place, so like wtf body? I dunno, before I knew what I was doing, I was in a drive thru ordering. Well, that's not true. I knew what I was doing. Sigh. I just wanted something cheap and fried to negate a day of romaine lettuce and blackberries. God, how am I ever gonna do this if I can't get past day one? What a total downer.
I think I get a high from fast food. I am giddy as shit WHILE I'm eating it. Then comes the regret. Just like crack. Or so I've been told...eh. Suddenly I realize all the fried fish is gone and I'm left with that heartburny "WHY DID I DO THAT?" afterthough...and wondering where my TV went. Is it crass to say I think bulimics have it easy? Well...that's not true either. I truly do hate throwing up. Then again, I've never tried it for sport...so who knows? BULIMIA IS A SERIOUS CONDITION AND YOU ARE BEING A WHINY BITCH, TRICIA. Oh yeah. Sorry dudes.
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna end up killing Jeff pretty soon. Tonight he was in the computer room playing cheesey songs at ear-splitting decibels. I ended up going to take a bath to get away from it. So like whatever, I'm in the bathtub and I got my blackhead-clearing face masque shit on and a song comes on that I know so I get into it. Okay, so maybe it's lame to be singing along to Wanted Dead or Alive like REALLY fucking loud in the bathtub, but I can't help who I am. Until I hear laughing and not only is he standing there laughing at me but he is recording it! VIOLATION! I'm chunking half-empty shampoo bottles at him at a feverish pace and nothing works so I had to get up and slam the door to make the madness stop.
I got my exersize ramsacking my apartment looking for the damn camera before I end up being the next fat kid YouTube sensation. I don't want my 15 minutes that way, people! Ugh. As soon as I find that camera, he is going down. I can't kill him yet because then I may never find it. Seriously, who would do that to someone they love? Well...I would do that. BUT this is me we're talking about, so it's totally unacceptable. I gotta find that goddamn camera. If you guys happen to see a pasty white blob in a bathtub putting Bon Jovi to shame, just sheild your eyes. LOOK AWAY! I'll be flying away to wherever they don't have internets and filing for common-law divorce.
I got a headache. I go seep now. Tomorrow will be better!
If any of you are having a hard time like me right now, I leave you with these three words: