Monday, March 23, 2009

You could be my fat Kate Moss tonite...

So much to my shagrin, the diet starts today.

It's obviously way past due, but whatever. People at work are used to my on-again-off-again dieting. Anytime they see me walking in Monday morning with a bag bulging with skim milk and fruit, they know it's on, baby. So today I get the "diet time again, eh?" from a dude in the breakroom that I don't even KNOW and I'm like..."am I that predictable?" He just had his little chuckle and got his coffee and left. Goddamn people.

It's gonna be a crappy day because I woke up with a toothache and a roomful of pot smoke. I hate when Jeff "bongs" it up while I'm trying to sleep. Could you find something louder to smoke your stinky pot in? No? Oh, okay, proceed then. It kinda pisses me off that I'm like tiptoe-ing my big ass around the bedroom every morning so as not to disturb his sleep but he just comes in from work at 4am and turns on the tv and lights up the bong like I don't have to be up in an hour. That shit just puts me in a terrible mood for the day.

Then they tell me when I get here that I gotta work late. Poooooooop!

Oh well, I'm gonna try to do my best to not turn to my 10am poptarts and 3pm M&Ms today. None of my clothes fit and I'm sick of the steering wheel rubbing ever so firmly against my belly when I drive.

The scale gave me the familiar "EE" this morning which means I'm too fat for it and I suspect stands for "EEK, get off me, bitch!" I plan on not weighing myself for a month. Only because I'll lose like a pretty good amount in week one, then like 0.8 in week two and I'll start thinking I need to change shit up and it'll turn into a disaster and three months from now I'll be all "well, I'm starting my diet today, you guys!" NO. Let's give it a month and see how it goes, and if it's no good, we'll try something else.

I really don't know what I'm doing. Let's just shoot for no white sugar/flour...and...less food, in general. Oh, and some walking couldn't hurt. Let's do dis.


twinkelydots said...

Blog baby blog.

It will keep you accountable.

No white sugar/flour, etc will give you so much more energy. I promise!

Just get past day #3 and you'll be fine.

HopeFool said...

I don't get high much anymore, but this made me want bong hits.

No pop tarts today. You can manage that much. I know it.

Mel said...

one thing at a time!! Try starting with making your breakfast healthy.. get that down for a week.. then add healthy lunches... keep adding on good actions/behaviors.. you do too much at once and you'll stop because it WAY too hard.. it's the whole "i have to make this be a change that last's for life".. becuase that's what you are doing.. if you want long term success..

You can do it!!

and F@ck the scale.. it lies anyways.. so don't bother with it!

Dina said...

Pour some bong water in his drink tonight. Learn his ass a lesson!

The "diet time again, eh?" guy needs a foot in his butt. Seriously.

wildfluffysheep said...

*hugs* blogging is definitely good for the soul.
and echoing what Dina says... foot in the butt! YEAH. Some people are just inconsiderate without missing a beat.

HopeFool said...

Hi again. I left you something on my blog today...

Sara said...

If I woke up to a cloud of pot smoke in the morning I think I'd probably have a pretty good idea why those pop tarts and M&Ms sounded so damn good!

I love the new format, Tricia--and I've been contemplating a whole new blog-world myself. As soon as I'm done reading "html for kids" I'm all over that...

Diana said...

Tricia, you missed your calling. I bet you'd be a hysterical standup comic. You have a gift of humor and crack me up every day (well, at least on the days you post). :)

Seriously, I'm glad you're back on the wagon. I know it's hard and I know you know it's hard. The first couple days are the worst, and then the first weeks are tough. Hell, the first year is tough, who am I kidding.

Even though it's not easy, it's possible. A little hunger isn't going to kill you. Okay, a LOT of hunger isn't going to kill you. I understand though, I think you and I have a very similar relationship with food. I love the stuff, all of it.

Hang tough. I'm positive this is the time for you. And hey - remember one slipup doesn't mean a damn thing. I've had hundreds this past year. Not kidding. Just get right back to it.

You go girl!

My Big Fat Super Super Obese Blog said...

Sorry I'm late congratulating you on your new diet! I am VERY familiar with that EE on the scale, give yourself a little time and you'll be seeing real numbers in no time. I too find your blog HIGH-larious...seriously funny.

I'll be checking back to see how you are doing and kick your ass if need be as long as you promise to do the same for me when I need it!

BTW, I have something for you at my blog today :D

arielcircleofnine said...

I agree with Mel, the scale lies, chuck the thing out the window......just make small changes and stick with them. I cant weigh and I cant over-think my results or progress or I get all anal and tend to binge. What is that? No clue!
I got an idea, chuck the scale at the guy in the breakroom's head and stuff those poptarts in Jeff's Bong!

twinkelydots said...

moving up

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