I'm blogging again because I'm bored.
Now my boredom is your boredom. See? Sharing!
Dudes, I am NOT looking forward to summer. I know a lot of you have been bitching for like the past 6 months about snow, but it has been FREAKING GREAT here in Vegas. Then today, this happened:
You realize it's still fucking April, right? YOU CAN'T BE HERE RIGHT NOW! Please fuck off for at least another month, then I will begrudgingly deal with you as best I can.
I am fat. And this body is not built for heat. Like, there's only so much Gold Bond powder in the world, you know?
Plus, I don't have air conditioning in my car. That sucks. How much is that to get fixed? I should do that. I hope it's not expensive because I dunno if I can survive another summer here without it. When it gets up to like 115 outside, and you have your car windows down, you are essentially driving around in a big fucking hair dryer. And did I mention that I am fat? Because that makes it worse.
People are always like "well hey, at least it's a dry heat." You know what else is a dry heat? An oven. At least when there's humidity, you can sweat. You don't even sweat here! You just stand there getting redder and redder until you turn to ash and crumble away.
I'm hoping this 90+ business is just a fluke and it'll give me at least one more bearable month, but I guess we'll see. Rest assured, I will keep you posted.
In other news: Jeff's been being a dick all day today. Aren't potheads supposed to be all happy on 4/20? He pissed me off, so I cleaned the house. The only time I really ever want to clean is when I'm super pissed off. I don't know why. It's like "I'm gonna clean the SHIT outta this kitchen, THAT'LL SHOW HIM!" Dumb.
You guys wanna see his giant bong? Okay, here:
Maybe next time I say something is giant, you guys will believe me!
I'm outta here, I've whined enough for one night.