I've been staring at this screen for a good 5 minutes already. NOTHING SEEMS FUNNY ENOUGH TO POST!
I'm all emo and tired. I just wanna rip off these stupid work clothes and go start a revolution from my bed. The quit-your-job-and-sleep-all-day revolution. But I haven't decided if I wanna stay home or go to trivia tonite. I know once I'm down to the undies, nothing can get me re-dressed. I don't do that shit. Once I'm undressed, outside time is over...NO EXCEPTIONS! The only thing harder than trying to put on a bra that doesn't really fit is trying to put on a sweaty bra that doesn't really fit. Also known as sausage casing.
It's cinco de Mayo. I feel like I wanna go have some tacos and a margarita but it's 400 degrees outside so who the fuck is in the mood for hot sauce and tequila? DAMN YOU VEGAS SUN! We had a potluck at work but luckily those people can't cook for shit and everything was super gringo, so I didn't eat much. I'm a mexican food elitist thanks to my Texas roots. This California shit ain't cuttin' it. Which is probably for the best, because the last thing I need right now is more temptation.
T-minus 27 days to San Fran and so far my plan to EAT BETTER AND WALK EVERY DAY is still yet to get off the ground. It's not like I think I'm gonna lose a hundred pounds in a month but I wanna build up some walking tolerance so I'm not like gasping for air after walking a couple freakin blocks. Embarrassing! I'll try to get on that shit soon. I envisioned me and Jeff going on long walks every night like everything was just gonna magically change once we got this new apartment. It didn't! That sucked.
He's got a boil on his leg and he never shuts up about it. Anytime I ask him to do something, he just points to his crotch area which normally means "Blow me." but lately means "THE BOIL!"
"Babe, can you..."
(FURIOUS POINT TO CROTCHAL AREA)
Personally, I think he's milking it. Ew, milking a boil. Sounds gross. Worst.Porn.Ever.
Boil is a stupid word. Like moist. And womb.
Haha, this is a gross post. Sorry dudez. I got nothin!