Tuesday, May 26, 2009


It's no secret that I have pretty shitty self-esteem. I learned from an early age that if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. I learned to make fun of myself because it hurt way less than listening to someone else do it. I would gladly be the butt of the joke if it meant that they were laughing WITH me instead of AT me. And for the most part, I'm immune to it at this point. When you're fat in kindergarten, you learn to have a thick skin because the insults only get meaner the older you get.

In my family, being that we're all fatties, it pretty much just came natural that we made fun of each other relentlessly. I can't remember the last time my brother actually called me by my name, usually preferring "Skinny" or "Fats." Pick one! My sisters call me Trashy, cause it sounds like Tricia? Or cause I'm trashy, I dunno. Well, they USED to call me that, now they don't call me at all...long story. Oh well.

I guess I'm saying all this because we all deal with shit in our own way. When I make jokes about myself, I see the humor in it. It makes me feel better. One day, maybe, I'll actually lose enough weight to cut out the fat jokes. Then it's on to teeth jokes! (My teeth are jacked!) I know some people are weird about it. So...next time you see me calling myself a fattie, just laugh, it's cool! Call yourself a fattie too, if you are. I won't mind. I refuse to give power to an "insult" that's a fairly accurate portrayal of a physical trait. Fat. Say it. It's okay. It's just an adjective. (and a noun!)
That being said, here's a convo I had with Dina today about my brother's chubby chasing ways. A meeting of the minds, no less:

So I guess I'm not a BBW, but I do like BWW...they have good wings.

Then my brother emails me that he wants some stupid statue for his birthday. Check it out:

First of all, I'm not spending 90 bucks on some fat doll. Secondly, if that's what pretty fat people are supposed to look like, I am FUCKED. Where are the rolls and the vericose veins? The random chin hair or skin tag? She doesn't even come with a bag of Doritos...yeah, real life-like. I hope he comes up with another gift idea, otherwise, it's gonna be gift card city.


Losing Waist! said...

You should look at one of your "followers" labeled 18+... that is one I might block and I just wanted to pass along that information to you.

big_mummy said...

i am right with you on that, although i am fairly proportioned, i am way too fat for anyone to notice those proportions. oh and i had a hissy fit about not finding my tweezers for the chin hair yesterday. class.

tell him to spend his own $90 on the "fat" doll.

Dina said...

BootyBabeArt indeed.

tantra flower said...

One of those 18+ bots was on my blog yesterday. I was all excited that I actually had another follower and then saw what they were and was so bummed. :sigh: I blocked them.

Tricia, I would not buy him that statue on principle.

And women are beautiful in all shapes.

Kelly said...

Tricia, I can't wait for you to lose that weight and gain a better self image. You're so funny and I bet you're a sweetheart. :)

And That doll is so not realistic. Where are the back rolls and cottage cheese thighs? yeah, I know about chin hair and skin tags. According to the book by Jillian Michaels called Master Your Metabolism it is due to whacked out hormones from the foods we eat.
I have noticed a decrease in the chinny chin chin hairs and I had my sking tags cut off. Wasn't bad at all.

Hang in there. That weight will come off. :)

Camevil said...

My hubs has a big-leg fetish too. What the eff is up with that?

And I agree with you about the fat reference. Call it what it is. As long as you own it, you can't get hurt by it. Sometimes we set ourselves up for big pain. It's like that 90/10 rule or whatever: 10% of life is comprised of what happens to you (and is beyond your control. The other 90% is comprised of how you react to what happens to you.

TJ said...

I like what Kelly said- I too cant wait for you to lose weight and have your family STOP making fun of you and for YOU to have a better self image. I know its hard, Ive been a fattie all my life ( ok I was skinny in 1st grade, but not after that! ) This is YOUR time Tricia, you can do it!

:) tj

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

My bday's tomorrow and that statue would look mighty fine on my desk. HINT HINT

Diana said...

I don't mean to bash your brother, but I think I'd hate him if I ever met him. I can't believe he talks to you like that, telling you you're fat. That's really NOT okay in my book.

I know you said it's okay to be called fat, that it's just a word, but it's demeaning and hurtful. I'd put it right up there with the N- word. I had a long conversation with a black friend the other day about the N-word. We discussed it's power to hurt people. He said he can take being called any other derogatory word, just not that one. That's how I feel about being called fat. It has a lot of power over me. I can say it about myself, but no one else can say it. I'd rather be called the C-word than fat.

Your brother sounds like a moron. Not at all like you, smart, funny, witty, charming. How did you come out such a cool person when you came from such a fucked up family?

Forget the statue. It's stupid looking and ugly. I can't believe someone would pay $90 for that. I mean, why?

For that matter, forget the gift card too. Maybe a card, one of those cards that make fun of stupid people.

Shelley said...

Your brother sounds kinda mean - I wouldn't get him anything more than a stupid card from the Dollar Store, no less!

Carlos said...

lol thanks for the giggle trashy!

A Daunting Tale of Scale Warfare said...

I never learned to not take the insults/jokes personally, but I have learned how to always make myself the butt of a joke before anyone has a chance to make fun of me.

I think no matter how much weight I lose (still over 100 lbs to go) I will always be the funny fat girl on the inside.

~TMcGee~ said...

I get the thick skin, I started growing it in the 7th grade when I was told I was fat (you are fat if everyone else is a 2 and you are a 6). I say get your lovely (and I use that term loosely)brother something like this for his b-day http://www.lago-gallery.com/galleries.htm

I think the first dude on the top row all the way to the left would be purrrrrfffeeect, dahhhling. :-)

*Kristine* said...

I kinda figured there was a classification besides BBW for fat chicks but had never actually heard it. Now I know a possiblility...

Emmett said...

nice blog

arielcircleofnine said...

she looks kinda familar to me from the waist down, but why does she have those stick arms??? My arms are huge, they remind me of big wads of flesh toned cotton candy hanging at my sides (except I actually have hands on the ends of the sticks!). Also, no double chin or belly pooch--WTF did the artist run out of plastic? RIPOFF!

I guess I never thought about the insults in the same way you have. An adjective and a noun indeed--I am and have been a fattie since forever too, why fight it? But I cringe thinking about people insulting you; people can be so cruel, I hate people.
AND......I dont like your brother; you should make a gift of karate-ninja kick and just jam your foot up into his nuts. Then tell him he's not "a husky dude" but a big hairy fat-load. Ever notice men refer to fat men as "big guys" as if they are sort of intimidating muscle bound beasts, but any woman over a size 5 is fat?
Not to generalize, cuz you know, I love men but....there is surely a big fat double-standard!

Pam said...

Arrgghhh I hate that whole definition of a bbw thing! What these boys don't seem to realize is the same damn thing their daddies didn't realize when they read Playboy. It's not real. It's a fantasy that has been created by Photochopping geeks. The cellulite, the rolls, the veins, the dark patches, the stretch marks, the ruddy spots...magically brushed out with a virtual flesh tone spray can.
Boy I didn't realize how angry I was about this topic. Thanks for making me actually feel something again. I've been in drone mode working my ass off for the past few weeks. Missed reading your blog girl. Where's your address?

Pam said...

...and just for the record, I've seen a helluva lotta fat naked broads and none of them have ever had a pair of points like that. Don't even get me started.

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