Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Wow, that hurt a lot...

I am back. Not dead or paralyzed...SCORE!

The chiropractor is kinda hot for a middle-ager but he wears his pants too high. And because he's tall, it makes him look like his legs are a million inches long. What's with dudes and their pants? They all either wear them too low or too high. It's like you spend your youth with your pants under your ass then they creep up an inch or so every year until you're 80 and they're tucked under your chin. Guys...so dumb.

Seriously, I see Jeff's ass crack about seven times a day, and I never appreciate it. If he's gonna show it off, he should work on getting it less pimpley...just my opinion. That being said, my ass is no gem either, so I'll just shut up about it.

Anyway, if you've ever been to a chiropractor, they sometimes use this thing called a drop shelf or some shit. It's like they lift something under you and then press you down until it falls. Maybe this is okay for normal people but lest we forget, I have fat trauma. Feeling that thing basically give way beneath me feels like a smashing reminder of every broken chair, bent-ish bed frame and busted toilet seat of the life of my giant ass. DO NOT LIKE.

After about 20 minutes of torture, I get 15 minutes of weird vibration and out the door I go feeling worse than ever. COME BACK FRIDAY, he says. Yeah...okay. Sure, why not?

13 comments:

Terri said...

This post "cracked" me up. Sorry...I couldn't help it. :-)

Ang said...

okay I can't help but laughing. especially the pants topic..I'm constantly yelling at my husband to pull up his pants because of plumbers crack

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Guys with pants problems. Hey, I resemble that remark!

Dina said...

Sounds horrid. At least you can still walk...

A Daunting Tale of Scale Warfare said...

My boyfriends sister is a Chriopractor, and basically half of my family goes to one, but jesus h christ I am scared to death of them. I'm pretty sure I will become paralyzed from the next down when they accidentally crack me in the wrong direction.

Maggie said...

I hate Chriopractors. I was seeing one for months, until I finally said enough is enough. I'm in worse pain then when I first started. I went and seen a Massage therapist and the very first visit, he fixed all those months of pain.

Hope you feel better soon! {{hugs}}

TJ said...

I am anti-chiro lol

glad your alive and kickin.

:)

arielcircleofnine said...

Think of it this way, if your boss would start emulating the chiropractor's style, you'd never see her whaletail! Hope your back feels better.....are you going back to the chiro tomorrow?

Camevil said...

I've never been to a chiropractor, but you make it sound less scary. Still, if I'm going to risk paralysis, he better be fucking hot. It's gotta be worth it, y'know?

Stephen said...

Very Funny! Male butt cleavage. Plumber's are pros at this!

CactusFreek said...

The pants in the armpits thing is soooo not a good look! lol

Dina said...

are you all paralyzed and laid up?

wildfluffysheep said...

just lol.
not at the back pain though....

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