I am back. Not dead or paralyzed...SCORE!
The chiropractor is kinda hot for a middle-ager but he wears his pants too high. And because he's tall, it makes him look like his legs are a million inches long. What's with dudes and their pants? They all either wear them too low or too high. It's like you spend your youth with your pants under your ass then they creep up an inch or so every year until you're 80 and they're tucked under your chin. Guys...so dumb.
Seriously, I see Jeff's ass crack about seven times a day, and I never appreciate it. If he's gonna show it off, he should work on getting it less pimpley...just my opinion. That being said, my ass is no gem either, so I'll just shut up about it.
Anyway, if you've ever been to a chiropractor, they sometimes use this thing called a drop shelf or some shit. It's like they lift something under you and then press you down until it falls. Maybe this is okay for normal people but lest we forget, I have fat trauma. Feeling that thing basically give way beneath me feels like a smashing reminder of every broken chair, bent-ish bed frame and busted toilet seat of the life of my giant ass. DO NOT LIKE.
After about 20 minutes of torture, I get 15 minutes of weird vibration and out the door I go feeling worse than ever. COME BACK FRIDAY, he says. Yeah...okay. Sure, why not?