Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Haters keep hatin'...

It's hard to have a good day when your boss calls you in her office to talk about your FIVES. Yeah, like, the way I write my #5s...she don't like it. So now I gotta try to write them different. Even though I'm writing them on a report that I have to TYPE anyway. Grrr. This kinda shit makes me wish for the thrill and excitement of a TPS report.

I mean, there's only ten numbers, and I write numbers all day long, so even having to re-learn 1/10 of them is a giant pain in the ass. And furthermore, I ask you, who gives a fuck?

The day started oddly enough with tacos. Frances brought them in for everyone. She walks by and puts 2 tacos and 2 little sauce packets on my desk and smiles and says "I brought breakfast!" So sweet. So secretly evil disguised as trying-to-be-nice sweet. First off, I can't eat tacos for breakfast, I will die. I will be dead. She's in her 50s so why is SHE even eating tacos for breakfast? I don't get these people.

I didn't wanna seem rude so I took them to the lunchroom with me on my break and found some courier dudes who gladly ate them. Whew.

Also, I guess I'm not going on my FREECATION. Bleh. I assumed everyone knew I don't have my car on the weekends so when they told me to call and get the room, I also assumed someone would be giving me a ride. Turns out no one has room in their car for me because everyone and their distant third cousin got in on this free offer. Plus, everyone's going with like their husbands and shit and I hate being the third wheel...or like...87th wheel. Whatever. I only spent the first 25 years of my life being that annoying tagalong, so no thanks. It really only bothers me because my inner cheapskate is pissed at me. She'll get over it too.

When I got home and came online and saw this:

What the eff? This is wrong for several reasons. First of all, WHO WAS USING MY COMPUTER?? Despite what you may think about me, I would not GOOGLE hardcore pornography. That's far too general of a term, plus I got bookmarks for that kinda shit, you know? Jeff has his own computer and the only other person who was at my house today is his mom so I am fucking perplexed. On one hand, maybe I did it and don't remember, which would be bad. But on the other hand, maybe his mom comes to our house to masturbate, which would be worse. LOSE/Lose.

This has been a weird day.

Anyway, here's my daily high five, as promised:
1. I had an awesome nap after work!
2. TJ said I could have her old camera, SWEET!
3. My new shirts came from Zaftique*...ah, clearance <3
4. Jeff found my iPod cord today...finally new tunes!
5. Jack Sh*t wrote me a poem without even having to lose a half pound like the rest of you suckers! Wanna read it? Of course you do, that goes without saying:
There once was a blogger named Tricia,
Who thought all fried-up food was delicia.
Then she decided to own up,
And act like a grown-up
At least that’s what I’m gonna wish-ia.

It's clearly a love sonnet. Bagged another one, what can I say? I'll try to let him down easy, guys. Have fun losing that half pound, dudez!

That's it for now. Hey tomorrow, be better! Tired of these days bossin' me around.

*I know most people who read this blog aren't as fat as me, but IF you are of a comparable size, I would suggest checking this store out. Sign up for their emails and they'll let you know when they have a clearance sale and if you act FAST, you can get good work-type shirts for like 3-4 bucks. Plus, they're cut with a true fattie in mind because they like to accentuate the tits, even for smallbies like mine, so it's a good thing. Normally they're way overpriced though, well for me because I am cheap. K bye!


Dina said...

What the hell? You need to find out who put that on your puter. You could have some skeezy apartment complex guy coming in and jerking off in your undies or something. Time for hidden cameras!

WTF, tacos for breakfast? Sickness.

Jessica said...

ohmigosh!! hahaha. So sad, but hilarious post! Maybe his mom is trying to get you to see that search so it will start a fight? (some guys aren't allowed porn...) Either way, your history should have a time attached to it...

Hmm breakfast tacos. No I mean, gross. Right? Hehe.

TJ said...

I had tacos for dinner but I decided to eat them in lettuce leaves instead of the shell...oh adn I passed on the cheese...Im getting too healthy huh? lol

Let me know if I should mail you a box! :) I actually have to go to the post office to return a tee shirt that was made for an anorexic person. whatever.


~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Tacos for breakfast...that's even classier than wine from a box dude!

TJ said...

oh and that is SO not fair that Jack wrote you a poem without you having to lose .5 this week.

oh think dina is right about the complex guy coming into your place...nasty!

~TMcGee~ said...

I do hope you will sterilize your keyboard and computer screen and mouse....just douse the whole thing with Lysol. Ick!
Tacos for breakfast make the stomach acid churn....

wildfluffysheep said...

Interesting. You must now turn porn detective and work out the culprit. FOLLOW THE CLUES.

Good high five! I want to nap later...

Aimee said...

are you putting some dmb on your ipod now that you have your cord? you need to. their new cd rocks. okay, maybe i'm obsessed, but yeah.

am i the only one that thinks tacos for breakfast actually sounds good? probably only 5 pts each, too!

Chai Latté said...

I would eat tacos for ANY meal. :-)

Also, reminds me that I was failed in math class, because I wrote the 7's with the line through them. Not.Proper. they said. But I was too stubborn to change.

Amie said...

Where does one even get tacos for breakfast?! Although, if they were on my desk, I would probably gobble them up...far be it for me to turn down a good meal :)

arielcircleofnine said...

tacos iz good anytime long as there's sour cream!!! WTF at the porn evidence....Im with wildfluffy, turn all detective till you find out what happened. That is bizarre!

*Kristine* said...

I think tacos is the official breakfast item here in San Antonio.

I'm going to have to check out that store... thanks for the info :)

Camevil said...

I used to eat chips and bean dip with jalapenos for breakfast, so I cannot judge.

So, how tempted were you to pull up the internet history to see what sites were surfed? You showed some incredible restraint, because I know I would've checked the history folder. I did that with my secretary once. It came up with sites she found while google searching "syphilis" and "symptoms."

Someone is so totally trying to frame you.

Kelly said...

Were they regular tacos or breakfast tacos? If you add eggs then they are breakfast tacos. :) Either way sounds pretty good to me!

What the hell with the porn? That's just weird. Very weird. Maybe your computer did it. You gets lonely too. That's why it searched for HARDcore.

Love the poem. I'm jealous. :P

Now go practice your fives like a good girl. Maybe go to Wal Mart and pick up a math book or something. haha

A Daunting Tale of Scale Warfare said...

Breakfast Tacos....yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

I think your Mom likes Hardcore Porn....or Jeff is effing with you. Either way, not cool lol.

screwdestiny said...

Okay, so I just found your blog and I officially love it. SO many things you say are things I can totally relate to! Like, I didn't think there was anybody else out there who got yelled at by their boss about how they write a number. Mine was the 6's. Now I write them different, but it was a pain. And I totally have had that porn search in the Google bar thing happen as well. I'm like, "WTF, can't you at least keep it a secret that you were browsing porn on my computer today?"

Post a Comment