Monday, June 29, 2009


OMG...kill me.

I can't take this heat anymore!

108 today. Which on the surface may not seem so bad. But by the time you factor in my hotass baking-in-the-sun-all-day car with no A/C, plus a trip to hot hot crowded with hot assholes Costco, what you end up with is one super hot pissed off Tricia. My hair's all sweaty and gross and my rolls are all buttered up with sweat and even my Bare Minerals melted off.

Then I get home and guess who is still asleep? Snuggled up in the comforter with two fans blowing on him. "DUDE...GET UP! It's 6:00! FUCK!" You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

I know he works late and I shouldn't be such a bitch. But like, I worked all day, then went shopping, then loaded the heavy ass shit up by myself, and I get home and he's been sleeping for 14 hours. FOURTEEN! Tends to make me irritable.

I dunno, maybe I'm just being whiny, but that's what summers do to me! My body can't deal with these extreme temps and all rationale goes out the window once the thermometer hits 100. Then I'm supposed to cook AND work out? Piss on that.

Alright, I'm over it. WAIT, I'm not. So like in the parking lot at Costco, this dude was going around getting the carts and shit. So this lady was trying to load up a box of detergent into her SUV and he comes running over all like "lemme help you with that!" So I put everything in the car already, but I always have a really hard time with the kitty litter. It's 40 pounds and I am a weakling! Like, just cause I'm fat doesn't mean I'm strong. I can be fat and dainty...I am dainty as shit! Anyway, he starts walking my way and I'm sure that he can see my obvious struggle but he just strolls right on by. UGH!

And we made eye contact! So it's not like he didn't see me. Just pisses me off. I'm gonna start a new campaign called "Help a Fattie In Need...We Won't Eat You!" Stupid kitty litter. Stupid cat. Stupid Las Vegas. STUPID COSTCO.

STUPID stupid stupid stupid!

This is shitty, tomorrow will be better.


Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

I'm guessing it went like this: Costco dude locked eyes with you and sensed that you were on a mission, that helping you lift that 40 lbs. of kitty litter would be preventing you from proving something to yourself, stopping you from taking the next step in your great weight-loss adventure.

Or he was just an asshole.

14 hours? Seriously, I think I sleep that much over the course of a week. I think it's scorpion-in-the-bed time.

Monica said...

Wow. Makes me want to cancel my Costco membership because that was shitty and I think you should mosey on down to their website and paste your paragraphs about your experience.

tantra flower said...

Do you recommend Bare Minerals? Because I've been thinking about ordering it (I hate liquid foundation) but I'm afraid to shell out $25 unless it's really worth it. I hardly ever wear make up, but I still like to keep it on hand. I mean, I could get asked out or something. It could happen!

Diana said...

Oh man Tricia, what a really shitty day! Seriously shitty.

You're right, tomorrow will be better. It can't be a heck of a lot worse.

Hang in there!

Amie said...

"We won't eat you" Haha! Maybe he needs a good "eating" to make him feel better.

Monica said...

Oh and also...lemme know if this makes you laugh:

screwdestiny said...

I get really pissed too when I wake up early, do some laundry, work out, shower, run errands, and it's like 3 p.m. and my boyfriend is still sleeping. WTF? And mind you, we have the exact same work hours. So I feel you.

Amy said...

I keep saying that when I get to Hell, it'll be like Texas in July so whatever, I ain't skuured.

Freaking stupid sun and heat. I wish it was winter all the damn time.

big_mummy said...

i was thinking of you yesterday when i was feeling hot here lol and i was thinking... i wonder how hot it is in LV. i actually think i would combust into flames!

wildfluffysheep said...

lol @ jacksh*ts scorpion in the bed suggestion.

Oh man, that dude was really rude. thats righ i CAN rhyme. Some people are just dicks.

Kelly said...

I would like to share another way to help someone wake up. I've done this and it works: freeze a bunch of pennies in the freezer. When you want to wake up someone, just pull the sheets back and toss the pennies on the person. The cold pennies stick to any exposed skin but there is no ice to melt and make a mess. You will laugh but the sleeping person will not. Somehow they never find it funny.

Costco: time to stand up for yourself and at least make a snarky remark like "Oh no thanks. I got it. I don't need any help. You probably couldn't lift it anyway. Go back to pushing baskets, pansy." :)

Yeah, the weather here is stupid hot too. Not 108 but still warm. Though I may have to wear mittens this morning because it was only 93 when I got up.

A Daunting Tale of Scale Warfare said...

14 hours of sleep? Is he a new born? Perhaps its a growth spurt (yeah for 30 year olds)....

I dont know how you deal with that heat...I wouldnt ever leave the house.

arielcircleofnine said...

Yep...scorpions AND cold pennies! That'll teach him!! Seriously dont know how men can sleep so much. Shit.
Hope today is cooler, and if not, that you dont need to go to Costco. By the way, thats something Id probably get angry enough to complain to the manager over if it happens again!!!! Kitty litter always breaks my back too and the hubs likes those 50lb bags cuz they are cheap. DANG

Kelly said...

OK, I left a comment on my own blog but I'm copying it here for your pleasure, because I'm nice that way. :D

Tricia, do try the smoothie. I'll walk you through it. Ready?

Get your blender out. Is it clean from the last pitcher of ritas?

Add a little more than a cup of water, milk or unsweetened vanilla almond milk.

Now grab a handful (no, i mean a big handful) of spinach leaves.

Peel a banana and put the banana in the blender.

Add a couple of handfuls of ice.

Now some a little sweetener if you like your stuff sweet. I use stevia, honey or agave nectar.

Here is the point where you get to go a little crazy with your drink. Add what you like. How about some chia seeds? Berries? No, not chocolate or a donut. An orange? Pineapple? Maybe some flax or oats. Have fun with it.

Now blend the crap out of it. Repeat. Drink. You won't taste the spinach. Trust me. Just try it. :)

Carlos said...

14 hours is technically a coma. sea kelp!

and cats are filthy animals

Tully said...

I don't know how many times I have noticed other people getting offered help with their luggage or shopping while people just ignore me. Pisses me off no end.

Summer sucks, being fat in summer especially sucks. Every summer I say I can't do it again and then another one rolls around.

Bev P aka Hockeygal4ever said...

Time to smack the Costco cart boy! THWAP Hey, maybe u could've thrown the kitty litter at him? Either way, I feel ur pain. It sux when the weather makes u miserable. Things just multiply 100 x worse!

Hope Tuesday was better!

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