A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"Barman says: "No."Duck says: "Got any bread?"Barman says: "No."Duck says: "Got any bread?"Barman says: "No, we have no bread."Duck says: "Got any bread?"Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"Duck says: "Got any bread?"Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"Duck says: "Got any nails?"Barman says: "No"Duck says: "Got any bread?
Go read my blog about my new blue poop palace that will cheer you up lol. Sorry you're feeling grumpy. It is Friday though!!!
Take a read on Dr. Grumpy's latest post. It is FUNNY!!! I choked on my water when I read it!http://drgrumpyinthehouse.blogspot.com/2009/08/patient-quote-du-jour.html
I have no extra cheeries. I'm all sadded out myself. meh.
How's about an uplifting quote? “Circumstances may cause interruptions and delays, but never lose sight of your goal. Prepare yourself in every way you can by increasing your knowledge and adding to your experience, so that you can make the most of opportunity when it occurs.” —Mario Andretti
What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter.What does a congo line at a nursing home smell like? Depends.I found an undigested fish oil pill in mah poo. Sometimes gross stuff makes me laugh.Cheers.
well man, like chuck is like totally leading us astray, he is WILD. There are some awkward moments when i walk in on him and simone and its like, what am i disturbing ya know?? and he wiped the history on my laptop too. dunno whats going on. ideas?
Knock knockWho's there?Drain the bathtub I'm drowning.I'm not sure if that's exactly how it goes, but thats the gist....I'm not very good at jokes.
This joke as told by my 85 year old patient...(naughty joke)Him: "My friend told me his boy got kicked out of the Boy Scouts..."Me: "Oh yea, how come?"Him: "Yea, they caught him eating a Brownie."Me: "Bahahahahahaha."
I suck at jokes, but I'm really funny... honest.It might make you feel a little better to know that since yesterday I have had Pearl Jam's "Black" SO STUCK in my head. "I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be a starIn somebody else's sky, but why, why, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyCan't it be, can't it beeeeeeeeeeeeeee mine?"I might have to fire it up loud to see if that'll unstick it.Also, do visit the Dr. Grumpy mentioned above. I got a whole bunch of chuckles from it.
Two old women were sitting on a park bench when a man walked up and flashed them. One of the women had a stroke but the other one couldn't reach that far.
Put some Foo Fighters on and stop being a grump ass. Geez! ;)
Ok, there's this old Jewish guy, and he's living in an assisted living center. Well, one Saturday night, there comes a knock on his door. He opens it to find this goreous 22-year-old blonde wearing nothing but a black see-through negligee. "Ummm," he stammers. "What can I do for you?"The blonde looks at him very seductively and said "I'm here to offer you super sex."The man stands there for a minute and scratches his head. He looks her up and down and says, "I think I'll try the soup."
One more:How do you make 5 lbs of fat look beautiful?Put a nipple on it.
I eat popsicles with jokes on the stick. Today's popsicle:What do you call a cat with manners?Answer: an eti-cat (get it etiquette).Never mind. Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Goji's butt puffs out into a smiley face before she starts to poop. I'm thinking of taking a picture next time.
Fight Fat Phobia © 2008 ChocoBerryCherry, inspired by X