Friday, August 14, 2009

Ups and Downs....

What a day, what a day. At least it's Friday...and payday! Whew, needed that in a bad, bad way. Much like my food hoarding ways, I'm also a money hoarder. I have like 5 bank accounts with a tiny amount tucked away in each because I feel like I need that backup plan. Even though essentially it's the same amount of money as if I just kept it all in one account, I just can't stand the thought of having all my eggs in one basket. So I hide 40 bucks in all these accounts and I have Snickers bars tucked away in sock drawers and baskets of old mail. Seriously...mental problems.

Today is a weird day.

It's my brother's birthday...which is good. I LOVE MY BROTHER! Against my better judgement, I ended up getting him the Booty Doll Statue thing he wanted. All personal politics aside, it's what he wanted and it's his birthday so why the hell not? I usually have like a strict $50 budget for birthdays, but he's been working hard having to take care of my dad so I figured it was worth the splurge. I really appreciate him being so responsible about everything and not trying to shove it in my face or anything like SOME siblings tend to do. He's just a good dude like that.

It's also my neice's birthday...which sucks. She would have been 31 today...the same as me. She was like ALL ABOUT BIRTHDAYS so it's weird when this day comes and like...there's nothing. I called a local party store back home and ordered some balloons and my dad agreed to take them out to the cemetary today for her. It really just sucks...I miss her a lot and still think about her everyday. It's been just over a year so it's still a pretty fresh hurt and I still get that stinging about-to-cry feeling in my nose anytime I think about her too much...or at all. Sigh.

My sister sent out a text this morning that said "It's Crystal's birthday today. Keep her in your heart." We had a short nice text chat after that and it was probably the most I've spoken to her in like the last six months. The other one's still not speaking to me so at this point, I'll take what I can get. I'm slowly getting adjusted to the fact that my dream of having that Rockwell Christmas-type family is pretty much over. The fact that they're not all trying to murder each other will have to do for now.

On the diet front, I think I'm gonna have to go through some sort of no-carb detox for a week or two to try to curb these psycho cravings lately. I'm gonna buy some different groceries this week and start that on Monday. Not that I'm going all nutso in the meantime...but I've definitely been less than ideal.

Oh yeah, and due to a local drought, Jeff has forcibly decided to stop smoking pot for a month and see if he can live without it. He's SUPER irritable already and it's only day 2. Gonna be a long month. I'm proud of him for trying though, even though he kinda had no choice. But'll be a real moneysaver if he can kick the habit. We can start doing extravagant things like going to see a movie or filling up the gas tank. HIGH ON THE HOG, SON!

Have a peachy weekend, pals.


Emmett said...

I think all of us that have weight issues tend to have other issues of going over the top. Its just a matter of finding a good use of that energy.

Monica said...

I know how you feel. This month my cousin Krista would have been 31, but she passed away in January. Im glad you honored her birthday, that was a really kind thing to do.

bbubblyb said...

I soooo know about the whole not a rockwell Christmas family lol. You just want to get through a get together without someone walking out or someone yelling at someone else lol. At least that's my typical family gathering. Hope the whole carb detox goes ok.

Kugo said...

I hope your day only got better. I had a pretty crappy day too but I get back on it like I always do. You're not alone, you know.

arielcircleofnine said...

Hope your bro loved his booty doll! And that was very sweet of you to do with the balloons, with your dads help bringing them out there for you. Glad you had a chat with sis too, I know that felt good even if it was short!
Ive done low carb, and I agree its good to kill cravings--so do what works for ya!
Enjoy the weekend, even with crabby no-pot-smokin Jeff. I bet he's got some cravings that no low carb diet will soothe. lol ugh!!!

HopeFool said...

Sorry about your cuz.

I did Atkins low-carb real seriously once and I also did something like sugar busters with my sons once to see if I could get them to stop craving garbage. It really does work.

Funny thing. When I finally went off of Atkins, it was because a doctor told me I had to. He said "Go have a baked potato". Which I did, and it had been so long since I had carbs that I got high from it. I'm not exaggerating. It didn't last long but I was positively euphoric. So that's something to look forward to.

And speaking of getting high...I remember the dry spells before harvest. And more than one year I decided to quit for a while rather than pay insane prices for ditch weed which was all that could be found anyways. I feel for him. And for you having to be with him during detox.

One thing that helps a little is loading up on all the B vitamins. That's all they give to chronic pot smokers in rehab.

TJ said...

Hang in there T. Birthdays and anniversaries of the death of loved ones are hard to deal with. I Hope you have a good weekend- go splurge on a movie or something- with smuggled in popcorn! :) Hehe

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Sometimes I wonder if that feeling ever goes away when thinking about a lost loved one.

Hugs to you Tricia.

foolsfitness said...

My family had passed away years ago and I still miss them so much.

It's odd about the money thing... I must admit I usually have a twenty tucked away in like three places. It's silly, but somehow it works for me. I take comfort in back up plans... in security of knowing it's there if I need it. I actually really always thought squirrels just were so cool obsessed with tucking away another acorn somewhere.

I want a sister like you that gets such nifty gifts!

And remember that hoarding food is just the foolsfitness way! -Alan

screwdestiny said...

Yeah...that's why I never did drugs. I prefer eating or new clothes or whatever over spending my hard-earned money on that.

Good luck on busting your cravings.

Chris H said...

It always hurts to lose a family member... I've lost both my brothers early and me Dad too. Life sucks sometimes. But that is life.
I hope the diet works, going "Atkins" works.. and I reckon I will do it too!
Pot.. yep a total waste of good money, I hope he stays off it.

She-Fit said...

Sorry to hear about your niece. It's always hard when times like these roll around.
Hope you have a good weekend!

big_mummy said...

Arent you a good sister?? getting booty dolls and such! aww. did he like it? and appreciate his sis??

sorry to hear about your neice, those feelings suck, they really do. stay strong xx

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