Sunday, September 20, 2009

We wore an onion in our belt, which was the style at the time...

Yesterday I spent the day babysitting Jeff's neices and nephews since their parents needed an "alone" day which I later found out meant "a day to get really drunk." Whatevs, it's not like I had anything better to do so I thought...okay. In theory, it sounded like a good idea. I thought I could go over there and run around with five kids and get all tired out and come home for a good nite's sleep. But...I guess the kids had ideas of their own.

I had visions of long games of hide n seek and possibly a group craft project. Yeah, not so much. These kids are freaking tech-savvy and they don't need me or any other adult ruining their saturday with my handicraft ideas. Even the 6-year-old was on his damn Nintendo DS all day long. I was less like a babysitter, more like a recorded voice saying "did you already have a soda? Okay then you can't have another soda. DRINK SOME WATER!"

The oldest girl is on her laptop on FaceBook all day...the two young ones are eyes glued to the Disney Channel...and the boys were playing Call of Duty for what seemed like days. Man, what a boring game to watch. Too many dimensions for me. Give me a fat italian plumber jumping on mushrooms any day instead of this crap.

I came to a sad realization yesterday: I'm old. I'm just not cool enough anymore! I used to be the cool aunt! The one who was up on pop music and had the newest video game system and could kick ass at Skee-Ball. Now I'm just the lame old aunt with my stories about how "in my day we played a MAGICAL video game called Galaga and it was from OUTER SPAAACE" yeah yeah, meanwhile they're counting down the days until they can put their crazy old unmarried aunt into the home. I didn't even know who Lady Gaga was until like 3 days ago. I just want Pearl Jam and flannel back. Flannel was a good look for fat people...skinny jeans, not so much.

Oh well, I guess I couldn't expect to stay current forever. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room stuck in 1996, thanks.

24 comments:

Losing it in Vegas said...

Better than stuck in the 80's like me :D Flock of Seagulls hair anyone???

I bought a tabletop video game with like a hundred of the cool 80s video games on it...we played it, even my son, incessantly for a month...then it collected dust until I sold it....

Mario rocks.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

The key to remaining the cool aunt: gift cards.

theantijared said...

Damn!!! You are old and out of touch!

Now if you will excuse me, I will be playing Altered Beast for my Sega Genesis while listening to Troop! I also lost enough weight to put on my cool FILA jumpsuit.

Tantra Flower said...

All of my nieces and one nephew are under the age of four, so they still think I'm cool. Ignorance is bliss.

Jack is so right though. Gift cards = the coolest aunt evah!!!

Fat Daddy said...

How old are you again? If you're old, I must be ancient. And I am proudly still stuck in the 1980's. Without the flock of Seagulls hair of course.

It's like pulling teeth to get kids off the electronics. Easier babysitting though.

If you still wanna be the cool aunt, you probably have to buy it now.

Amy H. said...

I tried to get my niece to wear my old prom dress to a dance. I thought it was still cool. She actually cried putting it on. That's when I knew...I'm old.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Get a tattoo, then you'll always be the cool aunt. At least that's what I tell myself...lol

Angie P said...

Lady Gaga ROCKS! your a great aunt!

screwdestiny said...

Dude, kids suck ass nowadays with their talking on the cell phones at the age of 8 and whatnot. At least that's what I say. What happened to books?! What happened to hide-and-seek? In the words of the late George Carlin, what happened to playing in the dirt with a stick?

foolsfitness said...

96? No it was all about the 80's!

Someone mentioned to me just the other day my sneakers were,"so 80's" and I happen to actually like mullet hair styles.

At Foolsfitness it isn't "retro" cause we never left.- Alan

Jess said...

I can totally relate... I'm still jonesin' for the 90's myself. I heard "Runaway Train" for the first time in years and had an Ace of Base-Full House-Hey Arnold flashback.

It's okay, you're still the cool aunt. When they get to be that age, you won't be cool no matter how hard you try until they all hit the age of 26.

Sara said...

i was tutoring tonight and the girls brother was blasting music in the other room (he is 14, she's 16) and it was, like, 90s stuff (hole, weezer, etc) and i'm thinking to myself that it's cool he likes this music but then i hear clicking and the songs keep starting over and i realize he's playing Rock Band. sigh. also, i'm seeing Pearl Jam October 6th!! woot!!

Hopeful said...

You want old? Go to the dermatologist and ask him what are the white spots on your leg that showed up after hanging at the pool for a few hours, and have him tell you that they're just spots that show up with age. I'm not even 40 yet...

big_mummy said...

hell yeh 96 was a good year!!!

TjRenee said...

You would LOVE babysitting my kids. Hubman and I won't buy any of that shit for them to play with. Makes kids little zombies if you ask me. Yeah, they are SO deprived. But you will have to hear about YuGiOh and Bakugan from the boys and be prepared to play tea party and paint with the girl. And they all kick ass on board games! hehehe

Like others, I'm still stuck in the 80s listening to my beloved GnR and Scorpions.

Camevil said...

Once you find yourself complaining about "music & kids these days," you are automatically a life-time member of the Geezer Club. Welcome aboard.

Me? I long for the days of Siouxsie Sioux and The Cure. *gothic sigh*

Stages of Change said...

While you're back in 96, tell Hootie and the Blowfish hello for me please.

...I think that was their year.

...hold on while I check.

K, not really, more '95.

Um, tell Alanis hello then.

Meh.

Anyway, great year, and don't feel too bad. You'll feel wayyyyyy older in the future!!!

Also, FANTASTIC Simpsons reference. One of my very favorite:

"...Like the time I caught the ferry to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for m'shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt. Which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Gimme five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."

Deniz said...

Oh... my... God...!

1980s?... 1990s?... you guys all sound so YOUNG!

Bring back the glorious summer of '76. Feels like I'm REALLY ancient now ;-)

Carlos said...

kids suck

bbubblyb said...

Sorry your day with the kids wasn't what you hoped but I'm sure they still think you're the cool aunt.

@eloh said...

SEX, BEER, POT and WINE....I'm still back in '69.

Dina said...

Hey check out FatDaddy making the same Flock of Seagulls haircut joke you did. They'll think you're cool again one fine day. I put songs on my niece's ipod for her, and she thinks I'm the shit.

She woke up Fat said...

I love the 90's! Love me some pearl Jam.
oh, um, er, I still have the original KORN album in my car. Yeah , I have been listening to the same album for over 10yrs. God, I am old.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry; you'll be the cool aunt when they grow up and realise you don't feign an interest in keeping up with everything that is new in a desperate bid to look cool. That's just lame.

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