Monday, November 2, 2009

The Guns of Navarone

I'm kinda bummed now that Halloween is officially over. It's my favorite holiday and today I had to take down all my spooky cubicle decorations and send it back to bleaksville. It looks so boring and regular now! Hate it. Oh well, only 362 more days to go.

Halloween was really fun this year. I went out and had a good time and saw a good band and made some new friends and it was just good all over. We did the kiddie handing out candy thing for a while, then headed out to our trivia bar to see my favorite local band Darby O'Gill and the Little People.

(in their Batman gear...)

People at the bar were really receptive to my $2 costume. Apparently alcoholics really love Arby's. It garnered me many drunken high fives and it was nice to have people pointing and laughing at something other than my fatness for a change. If only everyday could be Halloween!

Fast forward about four hours and I am the only sober one left trying to corrall this motliest of crews into cabs or my backseat. It was a mess but worth it. I wonder if people look at me being rolled out of a Golden Corrall the same way I look at drunk people stumbling out of bars and into their cars. My guess is probably. Stupid honey butter rolls!

Speaking of drunkasses, this boyfriend of mine decided to puke alllll over the passenger side of my car on the way home. We were minutes away from home, it was a real heartbreaker! I think few things are as demeaning as having to sit in your own waste, be it poop or vomit, so I'm glad it was a short trip. It was all 0 to 60 on the pukemobile though. He went from "I don't feel so good" to "nah, i'll be okay" to "projectile vomitting" in the span of about 10 seconds. Gross, dude.

It was also like some weird comedy of errors because I was pulled over on the side of the road trying to get his ass outta the car and everytime I would unlock the door, he would lock it again thinking he was unlocking it, then getting all frustrated because he's holding in about 6 gallons of puke and we're playing red light-green light with the fucking lock switch. Very annoying. He swung the door open just in time to release a neon rainbow of Fat Tire all over my poor door panel.

I woke him up early the next day to clean the shit, because I literally couldn't. Everytime my fingers touch puke, I'm like Superfly TNT, dig? Yeah, puke begets puke and I can't deal, so he Resolved and Fabreezed the shit outta my car and I still get in there everytime like I'm trying to sniff out a bomb because if even the slightest hint remains, the car is pretty much unusable. So far...so good-ish.

As for November, I'm supposed to kick ass this month so Pow Pow MFers.

Today woulda been my mom's 69th birthday. Sure wish she was still around. It's been almost eight years but I still miss her every day. Makes me sad. Happy Birthday, Mom!

But after today...more kicking ass.

19 comments:

Amy H. said...

Sorry about your car. The last time I puked it was after we drove down a windy road and I'd had a bit too much wine and I rolled down the window and splattered puke all over the outside of the car. And all over my face. Nasty business, that.

Puke stories beget puke stories.

Kugo said...

Hate when someone pukes in my car, gross. Isn't Halloween grand? It gives you all these great vomit stories.

Shelley said...

Great costume - I love the unexpected ones, like what you came up with!

Glad you had fun, even though the evening ended with pukage. At least it wasn't you doing it!

Kelly said...

I love Halloween too. :-) Your night sounds more fun than mine. We camped, I told spooky stories and scared the crap out of my kids then made them go on a night hike with me around a spooky swamp. I also took them trick or treating to the other campers' sites. :-)

Sorry about the puke. That's pretty gross. I puked in my car once. My sweet hubby cleaned it up for me and took care of me. What a guy.

TJ said...

looks like you had a great Halloween! Minus the vomit. eeww

its so hard when the people we love are no longer with us. :( Happy Birthday to your Mama, RIP

LAF said...

That band looks fun! What's Halloween without some puke? Ha ha. Bummer about the car though.
Yeah - POW!

bbubblyb said...

Sorry you're missing your mom.

Ewww on the puke story. I have the forever family one where I puked down my mom's back in the car (I was in the back seat). No more ambrosia salad with coconut for me, makes me cringe to think about it lol. My mom had to go over in the bushes and change into her swim suit to drive home, it seemed like that car always smelled like puke after that. I can't clean the stuff up either it's always hubby's job when the kids do it lol. Yep, puke stories beget puke stories lol.

twinkelydots said...

Gotta love the costume! Must know how you made it. Puke stories begat puke stories. Think I'll pass on sharing mine. I make the hubby clean up the dog puke. That's what boys are suppose to do.

Amy said...

I LOLd at your costume. It's freaking awesome.

Katie J said...

Simple but AWESOME costume!

Funny how you mentioned the puking... I went to drop off my house keys with my neighbor this morning and found a puke pile in front of her gate. It wasn't there last night. I warned her because puke begets puke. Ewwww.

screwdestiny said...

Ugh, I don't know how drunk people don't know that they're going to puke. I mean, I'm able to tell. And yeah, I'm pretty bad with cleaning up puke, too. That's why I won't have kids. Blech.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Shouldn't have read this... feeling... pukey...

arielcircleofnine said...

ive been MIA...sorry to hear bout all the firings at work (glad you survived) and about the projectile vomit!

big_mummy said...

blech i hate car pukeage.... once ant did the i feel sick and i said were 100m from home you can wait surely?? to BLERGHHHH into the fucking air vents of the car so it effin stank for like a year.

wildfluffysheep said...

sounds you like had an awesome halloween. i never ever get that excited about halloween. mine was crap. at least i didnt have a candy blow out.

ewwwwww. puke. eewww.

Patsy said...

Reminds me of the time, about 20 years ago when I was still a teenager, that my best mate puked in my lap on the way home from a Christmas party... :(

Jill said...

I LOVE THE SIGN ABOVE YOU HEAD. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE HAVING A GREAT TIME.

Pam said...

Happy Belated Birthday Mom. I Love your daughter!
And the puking...grosssss! I was eating some leftover mac n cheese (not the ww kind either), but I think it's going back in the fridge. Gross boyfriend. Gross.

Community said...

Is Navarone a town or place in Greece or is it ficticiously created for the movie The Guns Of Navarone?

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