Wednesday, January 27, 2010

A New Hope.

First thing's first, I wanna say a big ol' wet sloppy happy birthday to my bestest pal Dina! I feel like I've known her my whole life, even though it's really been less than a year. Without getting all lezzy here, I'll just say that it's nice to have someone I can confide in with ALLLLL my dirt, who understands and doesn't try to make me feel like the worst person on Earth. We've both gone through some pretty shitty stuff (especially lately) and it really makes me appreciate having a true blue friend who will listen to me curse for an hour on the phone when necessary. Happy birthday, pal. Enjoy the booze.

Moving on...I went to the doctor again yesterday. They finally gave me the stupid boot, but it came with bad news in the form of six weeks of physical therapy. Grr. He told me still not to walk on it until the PT gives me the all clear, so that sucks. I'm all scooted out, dudes.

In hindsight, I dunno what I was expecting. I haven't really put any weight on my foot in like almost two months now and I was just thinking they were gonna gimme the boot and I was gonna go all Lady Gaga and I'M A FREE BITCH out the door and shit. Not so much, apparently. So I still have at least six more weeks of bullshit before it looks like I can finally put this whole ordeal behind me.

After the dr, I decided it was time to stop putting it off and go get some groceries so I can stop having an excuse to eat fast food every nite. We went to Sam's and I braved my long-time greatest fear The Motorized Cart in order to get shit handled. Those carts are awful. They could be sleeker, I'll say that. A fat person that beeps in's like a Carlos Mencia joke waiting to happen...again. (that's funny cause he's a joke stealer...try to keep up, people.)

I got a lot of shitty looks. I mean, I get that I'm fat and in a cart but can you not see this giant Moon Boot on my foot over here or WHAT? It makes me wanna carry around a giant blinking red arrow that points to my foot so they can be like "ohhhh, okay, so she's NOT just being a lazy fatass...ok, my bad." People and their goddamn judgemental faces.

Plus my cart was all full of healthy shit, so gimme a break! Man, I hate people.

You guys, I have been going through some crazy shit lately. Not even including the whole foot thing, my whole life basically fell apart then somehow magically glued itself back together in like the last six days. A rollercoaster of emotion, to say the least. One thing to come out of it though is some weird fixation on hope for the future and like a truckload of motivation. I would like to run with it and make my life great, so I'm going to try that. I feel strangely happy most of the day for the first time in what seems like...well, ever...and I dunno...maybe I'm fooling myself, but if I am, I would like to at least ride this wave of foolishness to a way smaller pant size.

Wish me luck?

Bye dudez.


screwdestiny said...

Good Lord, you are hilarious. If I'd been drinking something, I would have spit it out at the part about Lady Gaga.

I hope you're in tip-top condition soon. And when people give you those weird looks, just point to the boot.

karen@fitnessjourney said...

I wish you all the luck in the world. Take that happiness and run with it-or,in your case, hobble with it and rock that boot!

LAF said...

Ride the wave!

TJ said...

3 cheers for motivation! and a shot of tequila for good measure! Hang in there my friend- you will make it out of this mess soon! :)

Kelly said...

Wish I were closer so I could help you with your grocery shopping and shoot anyone who gives you the stink eye in your cart. I can do it too! LOL

I am SO happy to hear that you are feeling full of hope and motivated. I would say take it one step at a time but I'm afraid you might slap me. ;-) Ya know, the bad foot and all.

And happy birthday to Dina! Share the booze, Chick.

Kim said...

Yeah, the Lady Gaga thing made me LOL. Yeah, I'm with the others...if I had've been there in the grocery store with you, I would have beaten any person who gave you a dirty look with a bag of potatoes (since we would have been in the produce section anyway). lol Hell, I get judgmental looks and I don't even have to use one of those scooters. People always look at me like I'm a freak's like "I'm fat...get over it." Glad to hear you are feeling positive. :)

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Good luck sweetie.

anne h said...


arielcircleofnine said...

OMGS was so glad to see this upbeat post. Without getting all lezzy myself, I had a dream about you last night rocking all things positive...weird synch. Anyhoo!!! I say when walmart judgies give you dirty looks--give em the boot. Right up the ole pooper! accckk!!! That'll teach em!!!

Camevil said...

So Dina is still alive. That's good! Happy Birthday to my favorite non-existent flogger.

I always wanted to know what it was like to ride the scooter but was scared of the shitty looks. Thanks for taking one for the team. And glad you got your boot.

You must've had one hurricane of a week. But out of chaos comes change, or whatever those Oprah gurus say. Hang onto that!

jessi said...

Hey . . . Happy the shitty got better so quickly. :)

Onelda said...

I lost about a hundred pounds a couple years ago and began noticing that people are nicer when you're not fat. Everyone. Even my mother.
Maybe it's not that they're nicer, they don't have the, oh look, now there goes a big one, expression on their faces.

wildfluffysheep said...

<3 lots of awesome british love.

i think maybe one day they'll put fat people in a zoo because they sure do like looking at us enough.

@eloh said...

Oh sweetie, when they first opened our giat Wally World... my daughter and I went at 3 in the morning and each took a magic cart ride to check out the store.... even the 3am goonies stared at us in disgust.

You're a beautiful girl, just worry about getting yourself where you need to be.

There will be problems no matter what you weigh, it's just the way things work. You might be interested in reading one of my long time blog friends recent post.

Anonymous said...

I had to laugh out loud at the Lady Gaga reference!

Hang in there - six weeks will come and go before you know it.


prashant said...

Those carts are awful. They could be sleeker, I'll say that. A fat person that beeps in's like a Carlos Mencia joke waiting to happen...again. (that's funny cause he's a joke stealer...try to keep up, people.
Grow Taller 4 Idiots

Community said...

To the knowledge of the Emperor and Vader Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda are the only two Jedi that remain unaccounted for. When Luke resolves to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi like his father.

Community said...

For as the son of Anakin Skywalker, Luke inherited a powerful connection to the Force, and became the only champion the Jedi could produce to confront the Sith with both Obi-Wan and Yoda aging fast.

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