Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Listen all y'all, it's a sabotaaaaage...

Trivia last night. We TANKED. It was sad. Some weeks, we're pretty dumb. And even worse, Angel brought like a million snacks. I can't stand to see some skinny person stuffing their face constantly while remaining skinny. I want to see them plump up in front of me like a Ball Park frank, but they just sit there inhaling Cheetos Puffs and staying tiny tiny tiny. When she texted me to make sure I was coming, she said "I've got a surprise for you!" Right away, I knew it was food. AND I WAS RIGHT. Probably one of my favorites too...

...except it was the Kid Mix! Which means it's even greater because there's no annoying black licorice ones to slow down the shoveling. I faked exuberance and hid the bag behind me on the bench. When I left, I stuck the bag in the glove compartment of my car, and today I plan on passing those suckers on to someone else. Preferably some other fattie in the Biggest Loser challenge so I can get the inside edge...

Man, the things a girl's gotta do just to avoid junk food these days.

In other, way shittier, news...I found out from my brother that my Aunt Alice had a stroke a couple nights ago. She's totally paralyzed on her left side and she can't remember her husband and daughter. That is a terrible awful thing and I feel horrible about it. My aunt and I aren't that close. I remember me and my niece Crystal used to have to spend summers there when we were kids and man, hell on earth. Still, she's a good lady and I hope she can recover from this.

From as far back as I can remember, Alice has always been severely overweight. But as far as I know, she's always been in pretty decent health. So while I was surprised and saddened to hear of her condition, it wasn't a total shock. But more than ever, it drives home the message of health. I don't want to have a heart attack. I don't want to have a stroke. I don't want to have to survive some life-altering medical condition to be able to make positive changes in my life. I just wanna do it on my own terms. On a daily basis, I see my body fighting back against the damages already done. I don't need another wake-up call, I'm awake, dammit. Now I just gotta get outta bed...

Sometimes I wish the Snooze button was never invented.

16 comments:

anne h said...

When they were filming the movie/musical "Oklahoma!"
the women would send each other "treats" - like boxes of brownies and cakes and candy - trying to get them to be tempted away from the super mini waist they had to have while filming!
Even back in the day, them bitches were up to no good!
:D

Losing Harry said...

My wife's boss buys her junk food all the time...but will comment on her weight. Drives me nuts. Then my wife brings home the food and we devour it while watching TV. No More!!! I told my wife to either ask her boss to stop or to eat it in the car...I want nothing to do with it.

LAF said...

Pretty nice of you to accept that bag of candy with such grace. I might have passed it on to someone else right then and there, but that might have been rude.
Glove compartment, good call!

Seth said...

Sorry to hear about your aunt. Great job on avoiding the junk!

Jacinda Renae said...

I love the plan to get the edge in the Biggest Loser contest :) Good luck!

Kelly said...

Sorry to hear about your aunt. :( I have an aunt Alice who recently had a stroke too. We're not related, are we? :)

I am so proud of you for not even opening those dangerously good Jelly Belly beans. I love em too but they're not worth the calories.

Kim said...

I'm not sure if I could have turned down Jelly Belly's. They're my favorite candy. I actually have a small bag waiting for me Friday when I can splurge. It's really great that you were able to not eat them. I'm sorry about your aunt. My dad had a heart attack and stroke last year and it really drove the health message home to me as well. I get what you mean totally.

Dina said...

I am really wanting to mock your "surprised and saddened" and ask if you were writing a political speech, but then I come off like a huge dick, so I will refrain.

Good job on the Jelly Bellies dearie.

arielcircleofnine said...

I dont know why I kept thinking of the Harry Potter jellybeans, like earwax flavor. ugh....My husband made me sneak a bunch of candy into the movies last nite and then didnt eat half of it. On my way to the store this morning I unzipped the bounty of deliciousness and tossed that shit out the window of my moving car! Not that Ive been all that "good" but ya know. Each day I vow to BE good and it was just morning, so my resolve hadnt worn down yet!
Sorry to hear about your aunt alice (hey my mom's name is alice) and I hope she gets well soon.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

It's hard to get the ball rolling, Tricia, and folks will continue putting roadblocks in your path, but I'm here to tell you that if you can get it rolling, can get some momentum built up, then this journey gets a little bit easier.

Now if I could convince you to replace Trivia Night with Exercise Night...

Big Clyde said...

Jack is right and I am trying to get that ball rolling now myself. We can do it together...just get a few good days in a row, then a week, then two...I bet it just gets easier from that point on.

biz319 said...

Even if you weren't that close, it's still sad about your Aunt. :(

I always hated the black licorice ones too! Luckily my twin sister hated red and I hated black so we switched.

The boys better do better on American Idol tonight??!!

Shelley said...

Good idea to give the beans to a BL contestant! Sorry about your aunt - that's a scary situation for everyone. Hope she recovers.

Learning to be Less said...

Sorry about the sad news. Nothing worse than thinking of your own mortality.

In more productive comments....When I participated in Biggest Loser I always gave bad foods to my other challengers. I would stick some hard to resist treat in their mailbox with a note that said something like "Hope you are having a great day!" I never signed it or confessed. I am highly competitive and I like money...A LOT. Sometimes you gotta do what it takes to win! It is not your fault if they are weak and cannot resist temptation.

screwdestiny said...

Tell her straight up that sabotage is not your idea of a nice surprise. Good job resisting them. And I like black licorice...

wildfluffysheep said...

i dont like jelly beans...

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