Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Mono was like, the best diet ever.

Captain's Log: Day two in this strange land of pork chops and heavy whipping cream. Strong desire to eat Saltines. Must...resist...world's...most...boring...crackers...

I'm doing low-carb. I know I only want crackers because I can't have them. That's right, I said can't. This is where my old buddy Weight Watchers steps in and says "Stick with me, you can have anything!" then shows me a picture of a cupcake. It DOESN'T tell me that it's either the cupcake or a day's worth of food...my pick, of course.

I guess the thing is that I DO need restrictions. I need the equivalent of a drill sargent standing over me saying "drop that twinkie, chubbs!" But that gets expensive. And he's got my power bill SKY HIGH. So that's out.

I can't have some hepcat new-agey diet dude telling me "eat whatever you want. It's cool, maaannn." Cause then I eat whatever I want. Then I get fatter. Then my diabetes is all wonky. Then I die...or something. All because I listened to some hippie. Let that be a lesson to ya.

I KNOW it works for some of you guys. I know it COULD work for me if I wasn't such a greedy Chubb-Rock and I didn't have to eat in mass quantities.

Maybe this plan will work for me. Maybe it won't. Maybe it's "back to the drawring board, mum." Only time will tell. At this point, I would be willing to do ANY diet if I could actually just stick to it and not spend my days thinking of creative ways to cheat.

I guess there's always going into a voluntary coma or wiring my jaw shut. Keep hope alive!

13 comments:

LAF said...

I'm having a strange but good fantasy right now about me, a drill sargeant and a hippie.

Chai Latté said...

I'm the same as you. I need strict rules.
I am not an "everything in moderation" kind of girl. I can have broccoli. I cannot have cheesecake. The end.

Do what works for you!

Stacie said...

Good luck. WW works for some and not others. I hope whatever plan you find that works is something you will be able to stick to. I understand your pain believe me I do. I am a chronic drop it and find it in the weightloss journey.

Big Clyde said...

Good luck, Tricia. I hope this works well for you. I did the Atkins thing (same as low-carb?), but could never transition it to my real world. You might do so much better though, so go for it!

If you ever want to count calories, I'd be happy to offer my ideas of what's working for me.

Trish said...

Two words...

Double Down.

YEEEHAA!

JourneyBeyondSurvival said...

I hope Captain's Log will be kind to you tomorrow.

Struggling at least makes life interesting. If nothing else.

Learning to be Less said...

Dude...I totally LOVE Romey and Michelle! Hilarious movie.

Sometimes you just need to try different things. Maybe you will like it or at least it can help drop a few pounds.

Tammy said...

I have to watch my carbs, too, due to my diabetes. It's tough at first, but it gets easier as you go. I don't do a specific low carb plan though, like Atkins. I count calories. I do it because I'm a moron when it comes to eating and I like the concept of simple math. It's black and white...hard to argue with. I get a max of 1800 cals a day. Of course, I still screw up sometimes, like TODAY...but overall, it's good for me. I've dropped 14.4 lbs. in the last 3 weeks. Just keep at it until you find what works for you. :)

TJ said...

I do the Weight Watchers with TJ restrictions. lol There are NO's in my life....most CRACKers are on that list....pizza from restaurants, Chinese pork fried rice, chow mein, oh egg rolls...mmm.... this list is gonna get LONG! lol :)

Shrinkabootie said...

What the French, Toast?
Get your butt over to my blog and enter my giveaway!
It'll make you feel better and might even solve world peace.
Remember that water bottle I swooned over and you liked?
You might could winnnnn, oneeeeee. Just sayin'.

Lisa (aka Charlie) said...

You're just skipping the simple carbs, right? Because complex carbs are super good for you and keep you getting bowel obstruction and dying -- or even worse, having to wear one of those colostomy bags. Just saying...

Twon said...

Ha Ha! Hippie. this post was super funny! well after a month or so getting acclimated, there is always the sugar-free section of the bakery for all your fake-sweet needs. Just remember that you use your allowed carbs in the beginning for fiber and green vegetables! I'm a huge fan of broccoli and cheese, or spinach salads with hard boiled egg and motzarella!

Lisa (aka Charlie) said...

I meant to say they keep you FROM getting bowel obstruction...

(I should never go back and read comments I've left; every time I do, I am horrified.)

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