Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The fish so nice they named it twice!

Day 10!

Today kinda sucked for a Cinco de Mayo. Everyone at work was munching on chips and homemade salsa all day while I had my daily meat-fest. It was the first true craving that I've had since I started low-carb again. But for some reason, it really made me want ice cream. Maybe it's because no binge is ever complete without at least a solitary pint of some flavor du jour of Ben & Jerry's. So wanting to eat bad shit makes me crave ice cream. My body...it know what it wants...and it's not that fucking mahi-mahi I picked my way through for dinner.

Crudely-drawn ice cream cone = 0 Net Carbs*

I'm pretty sure the real craving is just a PMS-y symptom. My shit's like all jacked up so I never know when that crazy bitch is gonna show up to ruin my day(s). But my back hurts and I keep crying over like the STUPIDEST shit...so yeah prolly.

Today I was reading this LiveJournal of this girl that died from Cystic Fibrosis recently and I was sitting at my desk bawling all day like a dummy! Don't get me wrong, it's sad. Like...awful. But still, to cry at work? To risk being seen and clowned for a lifetime?? Stupid emotions!

Also...super bitchy. I can tell because I almost threw some kid off a stairwell today when I got home from work. ARGH! These damn kids in this apartment complex drive me crazy! For some reason they decided that MY stairwell was the perfect place for their dang clubhouse. So from the time I get home until Dark:thirty, all I hear is a bunch of bratty kids outside my door talking shit.

So today I get home and this tiny jerk is standing on the ledge above my door holding a WATER BALLOON. Oh hell no. I looked up at her and go "If I were you, I would NOT do what you're probably thinking about doing." She giggles. For some reason, this enrages Trish-Hulk. "I'm SERIOUS. DO. NOT." More goddamn giggles.

I am a grown fucking woman standing 2 feet from my doorstep afraid to unlock the damn thing! Growling through my teeth at someone two feet tall. If there has ever been a more pathetic sight, surely I have not seen it. (and don't call me Shirley, ahthankyou...)

I stay there, frozen, and gaze an extremely hate-filled stare. She sucks her teeth and says "I wasn't even gonna throw it anyway, GAWD!" Sass! Sass at a time like this??! Does she not know the egg is dropping?? I will shake the shit out of a kid, dammit.

Alright, not really, I love kids and blah blah blah, but I'm just saying...Today is not the day.

That being said, at least I didn't fuck up my diet. TRULY AMAZING. Truly.

11 comments:

411 Gurl said...

Dude, when I did low carb my cycle evened out... watch for it... I swear I had PCOS but could never convince a doctor to diagnose me. Keep up the good work - you're in touch with your emotions and not feeding them!

Kim said...

lmao! Are you sure you're not pregnant instead? For me it was like PMS amplified. Husband was scared...very scared...like fetal position scared. You get my meaning. hehe. Anyway, hope the kid drops the water balloon on a cop's head. That'll teach'em...maybe it'll be one of those talkshow commando dudes that takes bad little kids to boot camp. Wish on a star. :) Hope you feel better and personally I thought your crude ice cream look yummy...like it'd have loads of fiber or something. :oP

Rob West said...

They can't write that stuff in Hollywood. Simply amazing! Keep up the good work. I love the ice cream and remember emotions keep us sane. I am a grown boy and I still cry. (In the dark when nobody can see) :)

screwdestiny said...

You are amazing! I have shaken a child for far less. There's no shame.

Al (losingharry) said...

The eggs is dropping...that's awesome. ;-D

Twon said...

HA HA HA! That was awesome :D I would have been driving my fingernails into my palm to keep the tide of profanity away! You are quite the funny girl!

I'm assuming you are avoiding fake sweets then. Cause there is plenty of fake chocolate out there. It's to be avoided early as it can mess with induction, and its expensive. but ive had to do up an atkins bar once or twice to tame the angry sugar beast. I dont crave it unless it's around me.

Julie said...

That is the kind of ice cream I should be eating!!!

It sounds like you're doing awesome!!! And you're still laughing about it...with a little crying in which is SO probably PMS....

Rebecca said...

Trish.. you need to either write a book or start your own sitcom!

For realz...

Farsy said...

I totally agree, I forgot how funny you are Trish. I'm back btw :)

TJ said...

HUGS! and HIGH 5 on having a good FOOD day! :)

Camevil said...

You stood your ground with Cinco De Mayo AND a juvie thug? Your restraint is Olympian. Oh, I heard about that blog, how frank it is. Can't bring myself to go to it yet 'cuz I know it will tear me up.

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