Today kinda sucked for a Cinco de Mayo. Everyone at work was munching on chips and homemade salsa all day while I had my daily meat-fest. It was the first true craving that I've had since I started low-carb again. But for some reason, it really made me want ice cream. Maybe it's because no binge is ever complete without at least a solitary pint of some flavor du jour of Ben & Jerry's. So wanting to eat bad shit makes me crave ice cream. My body...it know what it wants...and it's not that fucking mahi-mahi I picked my way through for dinner.
I'm pretty sure the real craving is just a PMS-y symptom. My shit's like all jacked up so I never know when that crazy bitch is gonna show up to ruin my day(s). But my back hurts and I keep crying over like the STUPIDEST shit...so yeah prolly.
Today I was reading this LiveJournal of this girl that died from Cystic Fibrosis recently and I was sitting at my desk bawling all day like a dummy! Don't get me wrong, it's sad. Like...awful. But still, to cry at work? To risk being seen and clowned for a lifetime?? Stupid emotions!
Also...super bitchy. I can tell because I almost threw some kid off a stairwell today when I got home from work. ARGH! These damn kids in this apartment complex drive me crazy! For some reason they decided that MY stairwell was the perfect place for their dang clubhouse. So from the time I get home until Dark:thirty, all I hear is a bunch of bratty kids outside my door talking shit.
So today I get home and this tiny jerk is standing on the ledge above my door holding a WATER BALLOON. Oh hell no. I looked up at her and go "If I were you, I would NOT do what you're probably thinking about doing." She giggles. For some reason, this enrages Trish-Hulk. "I'm SERIOUS. DO. NOT." More goddamn giggles.
I am a grown fucking woman standing 2 feet from my doorstep afraid to unlock the damn thing! Growling through my teeth at someone two feet tall. If there has ever been a more pathetic sight, surely I have not seen it. (and don't call me Shirley, ahthankyou...)
I stay there, frozen, and gaze an extremely hate-filled stare. She sucks her teeth and says "I wasn't even gonna throw it anyway, GAWD!" Sass! Sass at a time like this??! Does she not know the egg is dropping?? I will shake the shit out of a kid, dammit.
Alright, not really, I love kids and blah blah blah, but I'm just saying...Today is not the day.
That being said, at least I didn't fuck up my diet. TRULY AMAZING. Truly.