Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I'd probably end up breaking my hand anyway.

Sometimes when it's like 11:31 at night and I'm chewing on the hulls of sunflower seeds to keep from over-eating and Jeff walks up to me and unwraps a Hostess cupcake like 3 inches from my face and shoves the whole thing into his fat greedy mouth, I have visions of just punching him square in the jaw just to see what he'd say.

He'd probably say ouch and ask me what the fuck is wrong with me.

And I would just stand there stunned because I've never punched anyone before...especially in the face!

Today was the first day in two weeks that I've had an actual honest-to-goodness craving. And he ate it right in front of my face.

Not on purpose. He's just inconsiderate like that. I realize I'm dieting and you're not and you pay half the rent, so you can eat a fucking cupcake anywhere you want. But keep it the fuck outta my face. It's just common decency.

I'm overreacting. But I'm in a pretty pissy mood. So...this too, shall pass.

20 comments:

LauraLynne said...

is it bad that I pictures the dilema of what to do with the cupcake after it came flying out of his freshly punched mouth?

Hi, I'm LauraLynne. i'm a food addict. LOL

fatty blogsticks said...

you didn't punch him and steal his cupcake. this is good. you saved yourself some calories, crying and sore knuckles. good for you. x

Twon said...

Ha Ha Ha. See, for me it's worse if someone says "Do you mind if I eat this in front of you?" while holding a large gooey extra cheese pizza with magical unicorn sprinkles. Obviously i look like a complete willpowerless sap if I say they can't, and even kinda jerky! So I say "it's fine" and quietly dream of shoving those sprinkles down their throat until they suffocate while i watch them enjoy their lavish deliciousness.

But that's just me!

Sean Anderson said...

You should find a way to work a cupcake into that calorie budget sometime!! Take the power away from that craving. I understand if you just can't mentally---and if that's the case---should have punched him.
I smiled when you said you've never punched someone---me too, uh---never. Wanted to many times, never done it. You would have been justified!!!

My best always
Sean

Big Clyde said...

Punching burns calories, right? Hit him!

@eloh said...

I agree with Big Clyde... in fact, if you go ahead and just knock the ever lovin' snot out of him while you're at it... might be like a three mile run.

CinciMom11 said...

Haha, poor woman! You're a good/funny storyteller. Those cupcakes are tough cravings to pass.

anne h said...

Boxing and stuff can burn alot of calories!

Kelly said...

I agree. Punching can burn a decent amount of calories.

Just leave the room next time he does that. Stupid cupcakes. Why do they have to be so delicious?!

TJ said...

humm maybe he should be joining you on this healthy journey...just sayin. Oh and one punch wouldn't have hurt too bad! lol

Tony The Pink Panda said...

I am lucky that my parents don't like good tasting food. I'd take that cupcake out of his hands and smash it on the floor.

JourneyBeyondSurvival said...

It might be best to set up a trip line.

Then you could snicker innocuously on the couch!

4athomej said...

I so TOTALLY get it...you should have punched him though!!!!

Shelley said...

I'm going with the "punch him and steal the cupcake" crowd - I guarantee he'll never eat another cupcake in front of you again!

Learning to be Less said...

Bright side? At least it was just a cupcake. A whole cake would have taken at least 10 minutes to eat and you would have been more likely to get in on the action.

Also, you didn't eat one. However, if you had punched him, you would have not eaten a cupcake and burned some calories!

411 Gurl said...

Tricia, my dear dear friend. Do me a favor, spend the next couple days looking inside yourself, share with me your collage. You're doing wonderful and I just want you to focus on you right now. Write about how proud you are. I put vegas on my collage for 2 reasons: I love the gamble, I can't walk the strip right now and I want to experience the strip in full force. 2. I've felt a connection to you from the moment I read your blog.. dig deep... expose yourself it can be painful but its so empowering... I want you to have the same experience I've had in the last few days... it's ok to feel all the emotions. trust me.

Rob West said...

Tell Jeff to be nice.

Runundefined said...

Hi girl!

Thanks for posting in my blog (this is DaisyHair)..

I LOVE your blog! Cupcakes as your header.. kill me now.

I think those damned things are the ONLY thing that can ever tempt me anymore. Last time I went off plan I did because I HAD to make Strawberry Cupcakes.. see how I capitalized the name.. Strawberry Cupcakes..? That's how much I revere these damn things.

Anyway you are doing so good! Off to read more of your fantastic blog.

Oh and ya.. I would do worse than punch the ass.. He would be sitting on the curb. Sounds like he's threatened because you are ON FIRE!
Get it girl.

Laurie (GastricGirl.com) said...

A lot of men (especially those without a weight problem) just don't think about food. I obsess about it, and think about it constantly, whether in a good or a bad way, and my boyfriend is so non-chalant about it. PUNK! LOL

screwdestiny said...

No, it is common decency. But men are inconsiderate like that. And they can take a hit. Next time just go for it. ;)

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