Monday, June 27, 2011

And so it begins...

In true fattie fashion, I am starting this new not-a-diet-seriously-don't-call-it-a-diet-unless-you-wanna-hear-my-six-minute-speech-about-how-it's-NOT-a-diet Diet on a Monday. I felt I needed the last few days to get shit in order. Cook some meals, stock up on good shit, get the junk outta my house, eat some Ben & Jerry's, etc.

I actually got a lot more accomplished this weekend than just stuffing my face. Listen, I'm not proud to admit that I'm a bit of a hoarder. TLC has turned that word into some kinda scary psycho diagnosis where the mere mention of it brings about images of layers of empty pizza boxes and dead cats at least six feet high in some elderly person's apartment. But mine's slightly less impactful. I just like to keep shit. It used to be called "being a packrat" until old people started dying from being smothered by their own collections of tin cans and old newspapers so the medical field felt the need to put a label on it. So a hoarder I became.

Truth be told, I've had this giant stack of cardboard boxes in the corner of my living room since the day we moved in. In total, it was 21 boxes...all filled with mystery! Well, mostly Jeff's old sci-fi books and textbooks and random clothes of sizes gone-by, but still.

The real problem is that it's embarrassing and I don't let people come hang out at my house because I don't wanna hear a lecture about it or worse, have people talk about it behind my back. I don't like people knowing I'm some weirdo who can't let go of what is literally boxes upon boxes of trash cluttering my life.

But Saturday night, I did something awesome! I got off my couch and took my TiVo remote and actually PAUSED Cupcake Wars (who will win?? I DON'T KNOW...what is that French guy saying??? I DON'T KNOWWW!!!), and started going through those stupid boxes!

Five hours and three full Lawn & Leaf trash bags later, the corner was empty! I was all sweaty and covered in dust, but I felt accomplished. And it really wasn't ALL THAT HARD...I just needed to do it. I wondered why I waited two years to attack it when it was so easy to overcome once I just set my mind to it and got the shit done. I wondered why I pushed so many people away because I was ashamed of how it looked then cried when I felt like I was so alone? I wondered how much longer I would have just dealt with the pile being a part of my life if I hadn't just decided to do something about it right there in that moment?

The irony isn't lost on me.

It's time to get rid of my own garbage and stop being ashamed of myself and start letting people in. I can have the life I want or I can keep existing in this life I hate...it's up to me.

Just gotta get off the couch...

17 comments:

Dina said...

Come do my basement next. I think I saw a possum down there.

Juanita said...

This post is seriously the most awesome post I believe I've ever read in any blog. Yes, it's that powerful. Now, for me to take a big step too....

Amanda said...

Awesome. And yeah, I had a (few) closet(s) like that myself...

Well done!

Katy said...

Free space. You gots it.

Clutter is so symbolic of how we feel. For reals. I'm glad you cleaned out your corner :)

Erica Marie said...

I'm a pack rat as well. Not in the 'hoarding' sense, just in the 'This may have meaning to me someday' or 'I may have a use for this soon hmm' kind of way. Anyways, I feel this post.

I'm really happy that you finally took care of that corner that probably caused more anxiety than it did to accomplish :P

theantijared said...

Glad to see you pop up on my Google Reader!

Lisa (Tantra Flower) said...

You made room in your corner for all of your supportive friends! That sounds so corny, but it's true. I'm so happy for you. You deserve it!!!

Mary (formerly 411 gurl) said...

Glad you're back. I have clutter too and I need to start...

Sarah said...

Indeed. It is never as hard or scary as we think it is. We just have to get out of our damn way first.

Anonymous said...

woohoo :) xx love seeing you back

Doug said...

Love it :) I'm jumping back on too!

Janell said...

I guess it's time to throw away the couch too.

I saved my BIGASS jeans from when I was a size 28 (the ones I wore to my dead husband's memorial service). (I remember feeling "dressed up" that day with those pants on and that size enormous J Jill shirt that cost $129 bucks.) When I wore those big pants I was hoarding and keeping people away. Hoarding and hiding. The pants are sitting folded on my dining room table that no one sits at either.
I'm glad the irony isn't lost in all the piles of stuff.

Janell said...

Last week someone was talking to me about getting rid of all their stuff so that after they die there won't be a mess of porn and litter and comic books and cookie wrappers to sort through. I said I wasn't worried about leaving stuff because I'll be long gone.

arielcircleofnine said...

good for you!!! I have a couple of ROOMS full of shit that has been there for just over a year now since we moved into this house from the old one. I dont know, one day I may get inspired like you and just fricken DO IT. Until then, I have the shame and the frazzled-ness going on too. I love buying new things cuz I know I HAVE ONE somewhere but cant find it (naw not really!). Hope yesterday and today are going good on the un-diet! And so stoked to see you back!!!

Sarah Q said...

I love your blog. LOVE IT! And I'm glad you're posting again because you are hilarious and adorable. Just thought I'd let you know :)

nomoretomorrows said...

I'm so glad you're back! I had found you and lost you almost simultaneously. It was sad.

I am also a packrat/hoarder/baggage lady. Since graduating high school 10 years ago, there are boxes I have carried with me from place to place to place, never unpacking. I'm proud to say that after being in my current apartment 9 months I have one box left. In the last 10 years I have moved 12 times. I guess I just sort of feel like I can't put down roots somewhere because I'm eventually going to move again, so why unpack? That's more work to unpack, decorate, pack again, move again.

So I have baggage, in my house, on my ass, in my life. I'm beginning to unpack it. This truly has been sort of my year so far. I'm excited.

And DON'T call it a diet. Seriously. Just no.

Anonymous said...

Nutin' to it but to do it.

It's a platitude for a reason. You did it. Well Done!

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