In true fattie fashion, I am starting this new not-a-diet-seriously-don't-call-it-a-diet-unless-you-wanna-hear-my-six-minute-speech-about-how-it's-NOT-a-diet Diet on a Monday. I felt I needed the last few days to get shit in order. Cook some meals, stock up on good shit, get the junk outta my house, eat some Ben & Jerry's, etc.
I actually got a lot more accomplished this weekend than just stuffing my face. Listen, I'm not proud to admit that I'm a bit of a hoarder. TLC has turned that word into some kinda scary psycho diagnosis where the mere mention of it brings about images of layers of empty pizza boxes and dead cats at least six feet high in some elderly person's apartment. But mine's slightly less impactful. I just like to keep shit. It used to be called "being a packrat" until old people started dying from being smothered by their own collections of tin cans and old newspapers so the medical field felt the need to put a label on it. So a hoarder I became.
Truth be told, I've had this giant stack of cardboard boxes in the corner of my living room since the day we moved in. In total, it was 21 boxes...all filled with mystery! Well, mostly Jeff's old sci-fi books and textbooks and random clothes of sizes gone-by, but still.
The real problem is that it's embarrassing and I don't let people come hang out at my house because I don't wanna hear a lecture about it or worse, have people talk about it behind my back. I don't like people knowing I'm some weirdo who can't let go of what is literally boxes upon boxes of trash cluttering my life.
But Saturday night, I did something awesome! I got off my couch and took my TiVo remote and actually PAUSED Cupcake Wars (who will win?? I DON'T KNOW...what is that French guy saying??? I DON'T KNOWWW!!!), and started going through those stupid boxes!
Five hours and three full Lawn & Leaf trash bags later, the corner was empty! I was all sweaty and covered in dust, but I felt accomplished. And it really wasn't ALL THAT HARD...I just needed to do it. I wondered why I waited two years to attack it when it was so easy to overcome once I just set my mind to it and got the shit done. I wondered why I pushed so many people away because I was ashamed of how it looked then cried when I felt like I was so alone? I wondered how much longer I would have just dealt with the pile being a part of my life if I hadn't just decided to do something about it right there in that moment?
The irony isn't lost on me.
It's time to get rid of my own garbage and stop being ashamed of myself and start letting people in. I can have the life I want or I can keep existing in this life I hate...it's up to me.
Just gotta get off the couch...