I finally got around to picking up a book of them when I went to the post office last week and I've been dying to USE THEM. I still have Fight Fat Phobia stickers up for grabs, people! You know you need this in your life! Email me if you want one. (email@example.com)
Of course, probably no one will want me mailing stuff to them now that Dina outted me as a butt plug sender, but what she didn't tell you guys is that she begged me to send that thing. I am a pleaser. A woman of the people. I only wanna put a smile in the heart of every freak I know. Like a modern-day Mother Teresa, only not really like that at all. You know? I know you guys understand.
HEY...somewhere along the way I crept above 100 followers. That is awesome! It boggles the mind, seriously. A few months ago I said to myself that I would do a giveaway when I reached 100 followers so it looks like that will be happening soon. I don't really know what to give away though. I'm looking for a theme. I was thinking like a Pamper Yourself Package or something...I dunno. Gimme some time to make this awesome, then we'll go from there.
You guys have any tips? Like, if you were gonna win something, what would you want? Don't say money. Or a car. Think frugal!
Since I have made it my purpose in life to be more like Jack Sh*t, I wanted to mention that I ALSO was contacted by a nice lady at POM who sent me a case of FREE pomegranate juice. I love free, and I love juice, so this was a match made in heaven. I'm planning on mixing up some fancy POM cocktails this weekend and getting crunk alone in my apartment like a REAL WINNER! We have accumulated a variety of booze in the apartment from people who come to visit me and think they need to buy gallons of alcohol because they're in VEGAS BABY, then they take like 4 shots and leave the bottle at my house. So...I'll post some slurred reviews at some point this weekend if time allows. No one reads these blogs on the weekends anyway so it won't be so bad if I make a drunken admission to some sin long forgotten or something. FREEDOM!
Oh yeah, speaking of Vegas, I forced Jeff to take me to see The Hangover last night after work. SO GREAT! We laughed, we cried, and I think maybe, JUST MAYBE, we both learned a little something about life. I saw Zack Galifinakis' penis. Honk honk! That guy is so underrated, and so is his wang. When we left, we were walking through the casino to get to the parking lot, and Jeff's all "man, I wish I had a nice cock like Galifinakis." Dude. Definitely in the Top 5 of the gayest things that have ever come out of his mouth. The other top four being actual dicks. I was like "Look, you can't SAY stuff like that! You're supposed to by my heterosexual boyfriend, REMEMBER?" and he's all "I just said it was nice, I didn't say I wanted it in me." Totally reassuring, forreal.
What's with all the penis envy lately anyway? Geez. Embrace your schlong, dudes. My sister-in-law's stepdad recently found out he has cancer like IN his dick. We're not talking like Lance Armstrong cut-off-a-ball-become-a-hero-cancer, but like actual cancer of the dick. So they had to cut out a chunk of it. So...I dunno, be glad you have a whole one, I guess. And if you don't...that sucks, dude. You feel free to bitch because you deserve it, fella.
This is a weird ass random entry, so I'll just stop here. Have a good weekend!