Thursday, August 27, 2009

I found out tonight that my sister has breast cancer. She still won't answer my calls.

I don't get this stupid fucking grudge. All I want is to talk to her and find out what the situation is and how she's doing and to ask if I can help. I don't even understand why she's so mad at everybody.

The only reason I know is because she told my nephew that she's dying. He had no details.

When my neice called to see what was going on, she said she saw no point in telling any of us because no one in this family cares about her. I don't know if she's intentionally picking these fights with everyone just to distance herself so she can deal with it alone or what. She fabricates these situations to make everything worse when really we all need each other right now and everyone's too fucking stubborn to just deal with shit. It's really fucking stupid.

I just feel sick and sad and pissed. I don't know what to do.

31 comments:

Katie J said...

So sorry to hear about your sister Tricia. My mom had breast cancer and we didn't talk for 5 months. It was the longest time I had ever gone without talking to her. She had her reasons but it was truly upsetting. It still hurts to even think about that time.

Maybe you could write her a letter and tell her how you feel or just to say you love her and are care what is going on with her.

My heart is aching for you.

@eloh said...

Sorry about the situation. It's hard to end a fight when you are in the dark about what the hell it's all about.

How far apart do you live?

Roxie said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your sister's illness. I hope you two are able to reach some sort of peace. Family squabbles can be the worst kind of pain. Please take good care of yourself in the meantime.

wildfluffysheep said...

oh my days girl!
I don't know what to say! <3 <3 *hugs* for you Tricia. It's real shitty to hear about your sister. What a bloody sucky situation. I have no advice. I have never really experienced something like this.

thoughts are with you babes <3

big_mummy said...

im sorry you and your family are going through this Tricia, shes clearly in a head fuck no matter what and pushing it wont help that i guess. I do agree with maybe writing a card or letter, hallmark does have a card for every occassion!!! and I am here for you when you need me, are probably the most powerful words you can say. xx

Diane, Fit to the Finish said...

I'm so sorry. It's got to be hard on all sides. Perhaps a letter would get through to her. It would be something that she could read at her own leisure, and then process all that you have to say.

Take care.

MizFit said...

Im so so sorry.

and pray that she simply needs time to process it all in her own stunned mind.

I am a word person so I know Id email or mail a card now just to be able to convey my feelings to her.
Love,


Carla

Amy H. said...

I'm sorry about your sister. It seems to me she has all the control and all you can do is wait for her to decide to let you in. Maybe one more effort to communicate, then it's up to her.

Rebecca said...

As the others said, I'm so sorry you have to go through this right now when all you want to do is help.

You can't regret your actions, at least your trying to reach out.

hugs!

bbubblyb said...

I think writing a letter is a good idea. I'm sorry she won't talk to you. Try not to let it get to you to much sometimes I think that's what they want, to upset us. I must admit that stuff always makes me mad when my family members do that, wanting to punish everyone doesn't do anyone any good. Hang in there.

Diana said...

Just don't give up on her. I have a feeling as she gets sicker and looks death in the face, she's going to want her family around her. I can't imagine she'll want to go through this alone. Call, write, maybe even go see her if you can. She needs you.

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Tricia I'm so sorry to hear this. Everything. The cancer, the way she's acting, your pain. If there's anything I can do for you just let me know...

Dina said...

Oh damn. I'd just keep trying to contact her. It's not your fault that she's rejecting you though.

Sorry.

TJ said...

:( oh T, Im sorry to hear about your Sister. I sure hope she returns your calls...family is important!! (((HUGS)))

HopeFool said...

I'm sorry too. What a tough and sad situation.

I agree with the other posters who said you should just write. Use humor. Send funny cards. And I'd say not just once, but keep a steady flow of Trish in her mailbox and expect nothing in return.

Meantime, I'll pray for her recovery and your serenity.

Gigi said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister's illness and the drama that surrounds it. Maybe she just needs to be by herself for a while to let it sink in. I agree with the other commenters about sending a simple card or letter to let her know you'll be there for her if she choses. Beyond that I don't know what else you can do. Will keep you all in my prayers.

Carlos said...

wow that sucks! so sorry

Mary :: A Merry Life said...

Wow I am so sorry to hear about your sister. That is a really hard situation. I would keep trying to contact her... she is in a really hard place right now and I'm sure eventually she will want to talk to you.

LAF said...

I'm glad you called your sister out on her fabricating. I'm sorry she is suffering but is she trying to punish everyone else because she is not happy?
Don't lose sight of your own needs! You can't be responsible for her feelings, only yours.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

That's awful, Tricia. The breast cancer. The whole situation. I don't know what more you could do than what you're doing. Don't beat yourself up. Let her know you'll be there when she needs you... but you can't make her make that decision. Hang in there, kid.

Shelley said...

Sorry, Tricia. This entire situation sucks on a lot of levels. I don't know what else to say that hasn't already been said, so I'll just send you a virtual hug.

anne h said...

Words just aren't enough at a time such as this.

Camevil said...

I can't imagine a more difficult situation...trying to reach out and reconcile with a sick relative who is shutting everyone out at a time when she needs people the most. It's like her sickness is being used as a tool, a shield. Just awful.

And you can't do a thing. You can't. Suckiest part of all.

Dana (www.eatsleepgetfit.com) said...

Tricia, I'm sorry to hear about your sister. At least you are attempting by calling her and trying to reach out to her. Maybe her ignoring everyone is just her way of dealing with it. Send her a card, or leave her a message just letting her know you care and that you will be there for her if she needs you. There is not much else you can do. Keep your head up!

arielcircleofnine said...

Im late in commenting, but I wanted to say Im thinking about you. Keep trying to get through, its all you can do. HUGS

TjRenee said...

I'm so useless with words when it comes to situations like this. So I'll offer you a lotta these...

(((HUGS)))

Graciela said...

I hope you are doing okay...I miss your posts. Let us know what's going on...

Thinking about you...

Camevil said...

Thinking about you. Hope you're taking care of yourself.

Shelley said...

Hey Tricia - just checking in...hope you're ok!

Pam said...

You okay chica? Thinking about you and hoping you're well. I miss you.

Tantra Flower said...

Hi Tricia. You and your family are in my prayers. Much love.

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