Saturday, August 8, 2009

Ugh, I hate weight-related posts!

I'm having diet problems already. Everyday I check the scale and I'm up a little more from the day before. But I don't get it. Cause I'm really not eating much and I'm sure as heck not eating over my points. It's pretty frustrating and that teeny tiny voice of optimisim in my head is saying "Stop weighing everyday...maybe it'll be okay by Monday!" Then I tell her to shut the fuck up because this is some BS.

I'm worried that Monday's gonna roll around and I'm gonna see a not-so-pretty number and then wanna say fuck it. I'm already trying to run some damage control by buying lots and lots of healthy groceries. I got 20 bucks left in my account to last until payday (still a week away!) so maybe I won't eat junk since I can't afford it. Not that it ever stopped me before, but we'll see, I guess.

The truth is that I don't wanna give up. I can actually say that and mean it, for now. But I don't know why I talk myself into it so easily. I haven't really had that "urge" to eat lately. Forcing myself to eat is a concept that's totally foreign to me. I guess like...if it's not the stuff I want...I just don't want anything. Which I'm fine with. But if I'm eating so much less, why am I gaining weight every day?

And for what it's worth, I don't buy into the whole "starvation" thing. I'm definitely NOT starving. When I went to that diabetic class, the told me to eat 1700 calories a day for weight control. Then Weight Watchers puts me at like 2200 a day. If I do it the way my medical plan prescribes, I'm eating less, AND gaining. So what the fuck? Pissed.

I guess I'll try to find the happy medium and up it to 2000 next week if I'm pissed off about the results come Monday. I bought some raw almonds to compensate for the 200 calories. Other than that, I'm really not sure what to do. I'll give it another week, then maybe consider consulting with some experts if I'm not satisfied. More stupid doctors.

Blah blah calories. Who cares? Here's some boring pictures from work!

I bought a box of those 100-calorie packets of Swedish Fish cause sometimes I just need candy. While I am against the theory of a 100-calorie pack of anything because I think they're a giant rip-off, I had a store credit at Target, so there ya go. That being said, you get quite a few in that little bag so they last a while, which is good. I arranged them in a scenic portrait because I enjoy them more if I feel like I'm eating a living thing. (Suck on that, PETA.)
I decided to make it into a Welcome Back card for Amber because she's been out sick all week. i sacrificed two gummies so she'll know I really care.

I got a box of 120 crayons in my desk that I use for various weird shit when I get bored. I've had it for like going on 9 years. This is my favorite one in the box because I love the name. I can't bear to use it because it's my favorite and I want it to last forever:

I think we can all use a little more razzmatazz in our lives. Have a Razzmatazzy weekend, dudes.


TJ said...

your super razzmatazzy! and crafty! :)

stop the daily WI it will mess with your head big time.

Losing Waist! said...

I just laughed HARD over your drawings. Unbelievable in a completely relatable fashion... like seeing the crazy shit in one's head on paper!!

I don't know what you believe in, but I will go with a general term. I tend to believe that we have to learn certain things to lose weight, and that it is not just about a simple equation. I would predict that if you choose to "stick with it" over this initial gain/weird period that you will see the results you desire. Like the equation includes overcoming what you have struggled with in the past... I know that I started 100 "diets" before I REALLY stuck with it, and when I did- it payed off.

I hope you do stick with it, and I hope to see more of those fantastic art projects (you know an art therapist would love to take a look at those and analyze the life out of you)!!

saoirse said...

this will sounds ridic, but i find i see weight loss the week after i weigh in. like, the weigh in is never in line with how i ate that week. plus, it took me a few weeks to wee anything on the scale. i also find that the once a week weigh in is easier to deal with mentally. its really hard to get to the point to do it once a week, but its a thought.

this might be a tired question, but have you had your thyroid checked?

anne h said...

razzamatazz lasts forever!
Yeah, the scales? Fugiddabout'em...for a while at least.

Diana said...

I weigh in every day. It works for me. If I see it go up, I eat less.

However, you eating 1700 calories a day is crazy. That would be like me eating 500 calories a day. It's not going to work.

When I started WW almost two years ago I ate every Point they gave me. My base was 28, plus 5 weeklies, plus 4 APs a day. Total per day was 37 Points. I ate all of them. That works out to about 2150 calories. I weighed 240. I dropped about 2 to 3 pounds every week.

See what I'm saying here? You are NOT eating enough. Eat all your Points. ALL of them. For some illogical reason it works to actually eat more. I know the math doesn't make any sense but I really think you're not eating enough.

Just my two cents.

Love the card. Hysterical.

Dina said...

You eating 1700 calories, is like me eating 1650, that's crazy talk!


Sorry, had to.

Um, hang in there. It'll come off. I personally say it's the full moon exerting it's gravitational pull on us all, and making us way more. Next week should be great.

That crayon is the shit. You should shellac it or something.

Anonymous said...

that's Swedish SEA KITTENS you're eating! Now don't you feel awful?

(me neither)

jessi said...

The crab is my favorite ... You're making me want to go through all the 23420394827312 boxes of crayons in my house and steal all the razzmatazz just for you

foolsfitness said...

Well you certianly add a bit of razzmatazz to the lives of others!

Hey, this weight thing is just plain seriously difficult. I'm dealing with gains lately. I could say try taking out and measuring yourself with a tape maeasure or seeing how clothes fit and variations in body water retaining levels... but that gets old.

Just look back a few days and see some points where you make good choices, and rejoice in a few positive steps... then just take on walking. (and drag me a little way on huh?)

After all eating tasty meat and leaving a carbon footprint the size of Godzilla is the foolsfitness way!-Alan

Shelley said...

Love your artistic side! I can't believe you've never used the Razzmatazz that's willpower!!!

You are just not eating enough. Email forthcoming.

*Kristine* said...

Eat your points. It didn't make sense to me either... eat all 44 points plus the weekly 35 and I'll lose? It works. Sometimes your body revolts and you maintain or gain a little bit but we're women... water weight and hormones does that to us.

If any of the kids in my class bring in boxes of crayons with Razzmatazz in it I'm sending them to you :)

Julie said...

Best drawing made by an adult!! lol!

I love how you made it into a razzmatazz card for a friend.

Amy said...

My body has the same problem. I don't eat enough, which cause my body to want to retain everything. Pfft. I know what you mean....if it's not something you really want to eat, you're not eating anything at all... I do it, too.

I started my official diet yesterday. No weight scale for me though.....I broke it months ago and didn't buy another one.

HopeFool said...

I tried to reply to this, but I have too much to say. I just hit the 500 word mark, so I decided to post my reply as an entry on my blog.
I'll post it when I finish it. There goes my Sunday afternoon, damnit.

I'm all inspired and stuff.

I feel a little Sybil here because quite a good many blogs I read seem to me like I could have written them. Yours do very often. So, yeah, can get out of my head now.

Pam said...

Girl I've been there. And I completely agree with what Diana says. You have...and I cannot stress that HAVE to eat all your points. Whether or not you choose to use your WPAs doesn't really matter. But eating all your daily points does. There are a few ways to "kickstart" your losses and in my experience, it works to try some of these once in a while. What works really well for me is the cutting out of all things "bread." Pitas, flatouts, fiber bread, bars, cereals. And then up on the, chicken, eggs. Throw in tons of veggies & fruits and see how you do for a week. Sometimes we are just "slow" losers. It takes our bodies a long time to realize the changes that we are trying to make. I do believe that the longer we are fat, the more reluctant our bodies are to let go of that fat. I've been faithfully on WW since January and have lost a total of 52 lbs. Small losses compared to so many others who are similar to my size. But I had to stop comparing myself to the "fast" losers. And I had to stop jumping on the scale everyday too. My husband had to actually take the batteries out of my scale because it was affecting my daily attitude. You have to make a mental resignation to live healthier. To move more. To eat less. And to accept the fact that weight loss is not instantaneous. It WILL take years. But you will find rewards as you progress and you'll learn to love and look forward to those rewards.
Oh geez...just looked up at HopeFool...there's a 500 word mark limit?

Pam said...

Just don't give up. But don't be afraid to move things around with your menu either. Don't get in a food rut by eating the same things over and over again either. DO. NOT. GIVE. UP!

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Before my most recent weight loss adventure, I'd been starting and stopping for over a year. Starting because I wanted to lose weight. Stopping because it just wasn't happening the way I wanted. So I'd lose five, gain back ten.

Tricia, I had to stop, take a step back and really embrace the whole idea of a lifestyle change in order to find success. I know it sounds a little too razzmatazzy, but when this whole thing clicks in that really smart brain of yours, it'll happen for you.

It'll take a lot of hard work and some big changes in the way you do things. But here's the thing: your tastes will change, your energy level will change, your priorities will change. If you can get through the inital push, I won't say it's downhill from there, but it's definitely easier. And the rewards are tremendous.

Good luck, kiddo. You know I'm rooting for ya...

Losing it in Vegas said...

MMmmmmm gummy fish. I like to bite the heads off...and so generous of you to give up a couple to a friend! They would have to arm wrestle me for mine!

Discouraging on the weight front, but you can do it.

Tony said...

Sorry things aren't going to well, but like everyone else has said, keep it up and it will pay off. Remember to eat enough.

@eloh said...

I don't know about anybody else...but that damn crayon looks mighty tasty to me.

Emmett said...

Very crafty!

Fat[free]Me said...

Shame on you, eating seakittehs :(

Love that crayon. want.

And, truly, thank you so much for your very helpful comment in my blog today - it made a big difference.

Good luck on the diet thing - getting the balance right is a tricky business, but when you find it, you will be away!

bbubblyb said...

I say hang in there and keep going. The beginning is always the hardest I think. I am a more food person so I say eat all your points and stay off that scale. When I weigh everyday I drive myself nuts. Hope weigh-in today went ok.

wildfluffysheep said...

I hear you. Infact (minus the drawings) i could have written this post. the nurse told me to cut down my calories but my w.loss thingy m'jiggy is telling me to up it. and i have stayed the same for like three weeks. it fucking sucks. i feel like giving up sometimes too but i remember the positives of losing and am sticking it out.

though my trip to ireland sums up my calorie counting frustations.

i had to stop weighing in daily. it drove me insane.

Erin said...

We had a restaurant in town called "Razzmatazz". It had great food, but a couple people got shot there... and I think there were some drug deals there?! Anyway, the food couldn't make up for that (wasn't exactly family-friendly atmosphere). I think it's gone now. Sad... it always made me happy just to say the name "Razzmatazz".

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