I'm having diet problems already. Everyday I check the scale and I'm up a little more from the day before. But I don't get it. Cause I'm really not eating much and I'm sure as heck not eating over my points. It's pretty frustrating and that teeny tiny voice of optimisim in my head is saying "Stop weighing everyday...maybe it'll be okay by Monday!" Then I tell her to shut the fuck up because this is some BS.
I'm worried that Monday's gonna roll around and I'm gonna see a not-so-pretty number and then wanna say fuck it. I'm already trying to run some damage control by buying lots and lots of healthy groceries. I got 20 bucks left in my account to last until payday (still a week away!) so maybe I won't eat junk since I can't afford it. Not that it ever stopped me before, but we'll see, I guess.
The truth is that I don't wanna give up. I can actually say that and mean it, for now. But I don't know why I talk myself into it so easily. I haven't really had that "urge" to eat lately. Forcing myself to eat is a concept that's totally foreign to me. I guess like...if it's not the stuff I want...I just don't want anything. Which I'm fine with. But if I'm eating so much less, why am I gaining weight every day?
And for what it's worth, I don't buy into the whole "starvation" thing. I'm definitely NOT starving. When I went to that diabetic class, the told me to eat 1700 calories a day for weight control. Then Weight Watchers puts me at like 2200 a day. If I do it the way my medical plan prescribes, I'm eating less, AND gaining. So what the fuck? Pissed.
I guess I'll try to find the happy medium and up it to 2000 next week if I'm pissed off about the results come Monday. I bought some raw almonds to compensate for the 200 calories. Other than that, I'm really not sure what to do. I'll give it another week, then maybe consider consulting with some experts if I'm not satisfied. More stupid doctors.
Blah blah calories. Who cares? Here's some boring pictures from work!
I bought a box of those 100-calorie packets of Swedish Fish cause sometimes I just need candy. While I am against the theory of a 100-calorie pack of anything because I think they're a giant rip-off, I had a store credit at Target, so there ya go. That being said, you get quite a few in that little bag so they last a while, which is good. I arranged them in a scenic portrait because I enjoy them more if I feel like I'm eating a living thing. (Suck on that, PETA.)
I got a box of 120 crayons in my desk that I use for various weird shit when I get bored. I've had it for like going on 9 years. This is my favorite one in the box because I love the name. I can't bear to use it because it's my favorite and I want it to last forever:
I think we can all use a little more razzmatazz in our lives. Have a Razzmatazzy weekend, dudes.