Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

You see this apple?
Let it be known that when I tossed this apple into my purse this morning at appx. 7:50am, it was green with several hints of red. I got in my car and threw my purse into the passenger seat, as is the usual routine. At 1:07 pm, I reached into my purse to retrieve the apple on my way to lunch. Alas, it was not there. Where the hell could this damn apple be? Forty minutes later, it dawns on me that maybe it rolled out of my purse on the way to work. Genius! I walk outside to get my apple. I peek through the window and see this fine apple sitting in the passenger seat all alone. I unlock the door and reach in to grab it. It's cooked. Baked by the Las Vegas sun. Tragedy. There will be no apple for me this day.

Dude, that sucks. It's like days away from October and I can cook a fucking apple in my car. This injustice won't stand.

Moving on to bigger and better things: Ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves a winner!

This is a step-by-step process to be explained in pictures and a wall of text:
First off, I notice no one bothered to tell me that my comments aren't numbered. I thought I could just use that Random Integer thing and pick a number and go to that number and declare a winner, but...no numbers. So I had to get real crafty and print out all the comments and cut them out and fold them ghetto drawing style.

As you can see, there were a lot of entries....far too many for my planned receptacle:

We found a bigger bucket to dump them into and I let the lovely Lupe do the dirty work:

(Shake shake shake...)
A winner is drawn!
Erin from the xxl-files: tales of a fat girl in a strange, strange world. (She also wins world's longest title.) Congrats Erin! Kindly email an address over to me at fight.fat.phobia@gmail.com and your winnings shall be making their way to you shortly!

Look...here are all the losing comments...kinda makes me sad.
But chin up, friends! You all get this lovely Participation Ribbon just for playing! (Well, not really...I only bought one. But just pretend this one's for you?) You may remember the Participation Ribbon from such traumatic fat childhood experiences as Field Day, Relay Races and the Presidential Fitness Exam.
Well, thanks for playing, guys. I hope you bums will still bother coming around even when I'm not giving away free stuff. This was fun and I'm sure I'll do it again in the not-so-distant future, so don't be a stranger. :)

36 comments:

HopeFool said...

I suppose I have to be a good sport about this, right?
~Kicks dust~


Congrats to the girl with the long title.

Rebecca said...

damn... guess i can stop coming by now... ;)

wildfluffysheep said...

awww man. what a sad sad post. first the apple story and then me losing out. sucky.

kudos to the winner. wench. i mean lovely lady.

bbubblyb said...

Awww how cute with the ribbon, I must have a million of those around the house between the kids stuff and TOPS lol. Sorry to hear about your cooked apple. I've done worse, forgot I had a banana in my TOPS bag, ewwww is all I can say lol. Maybe the next apple will make it to the tummy.

Kelly said...

I love giveaways. :)

Poor apple. Hey, maybe add some sugar and cinnamon and wrap that sucker up in some pastry dough and stick it back in the car for a nice apple pie. LOL

Shelley said...

I love it - a participation ribbon! Tricia, you are too cute!

Lorie said...

That looks like too much work.....Can you imagine if you did send everyone participation ribbons??? LOL

Stages of Change said...

Presidential Fitness Exam!

Oh man, that brings back memories.

How many pullups?

None!

But an A for effort!

Camevil said...

You should definitely do more of these contests.

And save that apple as the next prize.

TJ said...

:( I have a few of those ribbons from back in the day...sad, just plain old sad. :(

TJ said...

RIP APPLE!

KrysTros said...

Uggh! I live in Houston and it's like in the 90's today. I know what you mean about hot enough to bake an apple in your vehicle AND we get the lovely humidity to make our clothes stick to us so that we can really be miserable! I love the pumpkin drawing LOL neat-O to make someone else to the pulling!

Amy H. said...

It looks like you pimped up your apple with gold paint.

TjRenee said...

I demand a re-draw! This time can you get a shirtless, buff guy to do your dirty work? ;)

You got a problem with baked apples?

big_mummy said...

i feel like your poor rejected baked apple.

arielcircleofnine said...

baked apples? toss on some cinnimon and chow down? eehhh, Im guessing it wasnt much like an apple you baked on purpose; or something you'd eat on purpose! acck...hope it feels more fall-like soon!

screwdestiny said...

That poor apple.

Congrats to Erin!

Jenn said...

Baked apples are yummy! Through some cinnamon on that bad boy!
I have an award for you on my blog today, please stop by!

@eloh said...

Yesterday morning it was still hot as hell in Alabama...but last night winter showed up.

I'da ate that apple.

Amy said...

Isn't that complete crap?! Stupid heat. It was in the 90s here in S.A. yesterday. Freaking sucks. I'm getting tired of getting a rash on my ass from sweating. Was that TMI?

amoslionhorse said...

1. congrats to Erin!
2. What a sad looking apple!!
3. it's because of those ribbons that I have a real hate-on for the colour purple today (not the Oprah movie, just the colour)

Erin said...

...i think i peed a little...

flipping awesome!

::princess waves::

it was my dancing wasn't it? i knew you couldn't resist me.

Fat Daddy said...

That apple might have been pretty good all baked like that. You needed some vanilla ice cream...on second thought...I guess not. This dieting shit sucks.

I will keep coming back...I did notnplay the game anyways...but I will be back.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Baked Apple is delicious. How innovative of you to use the oppressive desert sun into a weight-loss tool.

Contest? What contest? I want to enter!

Julie said...

hmm..well I really did want to win...but I guess I'll take my share of the ribbon instead :)

foolsfitness said...

I know I'm a winner for reading your blog... Is that "ribbon candy"? I never could get any sports ribbon beyond "participant"

That will teach you for bringing an apple. A twinkie could take the heat!

At Foolsfitness twinkees are listed in the veggies group!-Alan

Kugo said...

I'll always come back, giveaway or not, you make me laugh. Keep the entries coming!

Kelly said...

Hey chick. Come visit me at my blog. I have something for ya. :)

Jogging Auburn said...

Hello, my new-found friend! I've given you the Over the Top award for your blog, even though your blog is so excellent it's probably gotten it several times. Feel free to come on over and pick it up! quest4amile.blogspot.com

Jenn said...

Hey Tricia - just checking in, hope you're doing okay!

Stages of Change said...

Donde es el blog, um, posts?

Donde es tu?

Tu en el biblioteca? En el aeropuerto? En el officina de doctor?

Quiero mas blogs por favor.

Gracias.

...y gracias a mi 9th grado Spanish clase

theantijared said...

Hellllllooooooo! Where are you?

Sara said...

so i took a week off and came back today and went right to YOUR blog and what do i get??- that stupid apple. unacceptable. you know what to do.

Pam said...

Contest? I missed a contest! Shit.

Community said...

Congrats to the winner.......

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