You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.

I am happy to report that despite my whines about missing "Party Tricia", I did lose 5 pounds this week. I'm at 373.2 now. The last weigh-in is Friday since Monday is a holiday. I thought for sure that losing that 5 would put me in a nice cushy place moving into Friday, but apparently that other ho did well too. She only weighs like 150 so she can lose like 4 ounces and still beat me. Hate!

I'm actually ahead, but only by 1/10th of a percent. OH STRESS. I don't like photo finishes! Stressing out about winning is giving me IBS. Alls I know is I'm being super strict all week and hoping for the best. And if in the end, she wins...I'll just congratulate her then spend the rest of my life secretly hating her from afar. And should she awaken to a horse head in her bed one day, well...you guys didn't hear shit, and you don't know shit. GOT IT??

So in true nerd form, I ended up buying too many dang things for the giveaway. Here I am sweating thinking there's no way it could be 300 things, and it's like way over! I'll cut out some of the lamer shit (although a lot of it is pretty lame...) in an effort to make it all fit in one of those flat-rate boxes because I fucking haaaaaaaate having to go into the post office with the fiery passion of a million suns!! The greatest day of my life was the day I learned you could pay and print labels to mail shit online. OH GLORY BE! Eff you, slow ass postal workers and old ladies in line trying to tell me about Jesus and "the coloreds" <---yes, that happened.

I 'll be posting about it in the next couple days. I woulda done it today but I went to take pictures and the camera battery was dead. I charged it for like ten minutes and looked to see what was on there and there was like 500 pictures of the stupid cat. Jeff must have been really high that day. Or every day. It was like...the cat and his hand. Then the cat and the fan. Then the cat and a can of Pringles. If we were still in the dark ages where people had to use film, I would be WAY pissed. But since we're not, I just shake my head and wonder how this is my life.

But, I can't lie...I have my fun with him sometimes too... So anyway, the giveaway, I promise...soon.

Wouldn't it be funny if there was no giveaway at all and I just kept saying there was to make you guys come back and check my blog everyday for your chance at free shit?? HO HO HO what a caper I pulled on you guys!

Just kidding, there is one.

...or is there??

Oh, there is? Oh, okay.

Hey, speaking of free stuff, I WON SOMETHING! That is super rare! It's this rad metal sign to give to this hippie friend that I disapprove of for his birthday. OH and I just found out today that his girlfriend is PREGNANT. Thus securing at least one more generation of people wearing Birkenstocks...blech.

Thanks to my buddy POD (secret name because internet people are scary?) from the very funny blog Thufferin' Thuccotash! If you don't already read her blog, I suggest you high-tail it over there because it is hilarious and awesome. And you know I don't just throw the word hilarious around, unless I'm talking about me, so it must be pretty comical.