Tuesday, May 25, 2010

You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.

I am happy to report that despite my whines about missing "Party Tricia", I did lose 5 pounds this week. I'm at 373.2 now. The last weigh-in is Friday since Monday is a holiday. I thought for sure that losing that 5 would put me in a nice cushy place moving into Friday, but apparently that other ho did well too. She only weighs like 150 so she can lose like 4 ounces and still beat me. Hate!

I'm actually ahead, but only by 1/10th of a percent. OH STRESS. I don't like photo finishes! Stressing out about winning is giving me IBS. Alls I know is I'm being super strict all week and hoping for the best. And if in the end, she wins...I'll just congratulate her then spend the rest of my life secretly hating her from afar. And should she awaken to a horse head in her bed one day, well...you guys didn't hear shit, and you don't know shit. GOT IT??

So in true nerd form, I ended up buying too many dang things for the giveaway. Here I am sweating thinking there's no way it could be 300 things, and it's like way over! I'll cut out some of the lamer shit (although a lot of it is pretty lame...) in an effort to make it all fit in one of those flat-rate boxes because I fucking haaaaaaaate having to go into the post office with the fiery passion of a million suns!! The greatest day of my life was the day I learned you could pay and print labels to mail shit online. OH GLORY BE! Eff you, slow ass postal workers and old ladies in line trying to tell me about Jesus and "the coloreds" <---yes, that happened.

I 'll be posting about it in the next couple days. I woulda done it today but I went to take pictures and the camera battery was dead. I charged it for like ten minutes and looked to see what was on there and there was like 500 pictures of the stupid cat. Jeff must have been really high that day. Or every day. It was like...the cat and his hand. Then the cat and the fan. Then the cat and a can of Pringles. If we were still in the dark ages where people had to use film, I would be WAY pissed. But since we're not, I just shake my head and wonder how this is my life.

But, I can't lie...I have my fun with him sometimes too... So anyway, the giveaway, I promise...soon.

Wouldn't it be funny if there was no giveaway at all and I just kept saying there was to make you guys come back and check my blog everyday for your chance at free shit?? HO HO HO what a caper I pulled on you guys!

Just kidding, there is one.

...or is there??

Oh, there is? Oh, okay.

Hey, speaking of free stuff, I WON SOMETHING! That is super rare! It's this rad metal sign to give to this hippie friend that I disapprove of for his birthday. OH and I just found out today that his girlfriend is PREGNANT. Thus securing at least one more generation of people wearing Birkenstocks...blech.

Thanks to my buddy POD (secret name because internet people are scary?) from the very funny blog Thufferin' Thuccotash! If you don't already read her blog, I suggest you high-tail it over there because it is hilarious and awesome. And you know I don't just throw the word hilarious around, unless I'm talking about me, so it must be pretty comical.

17 comments:

Twon said...

Ha Ha. I would totally horse-head them too!

ooh, an alleged giveaway! well if it's not a long con I look forward to it! ;)

fatty blogsticks said...

5 POUNDS! awesome. you have to kill it this week! the weigh-in, i mean, and not the horse! jesus and the 'coloreds'?! wow, did you step into a time warp? not looking forward to that!

i'm curious about your 300 things. 299 gumballs and a headless horse?

Big Clyde said...

You. Must. Win!

Do whatever you have to do. I can't handle the pressure!

Teale said...

I do that stuff to my cats too:) The best is to find a youtube video of a howling cat, like one that's mad or one that's in heat... drives them up the wall! hahaha

CinciMom11 said...

Wow, great loss! May you keep the lead!

Traci said...

Great job on the weight loss! I hate that about percentages. It seems really unfair to the heavier person. But it's supposidly easier for us to lose more. It still irritates me. One day I'm going to be the skinny &$%# who is losing .4 and beating the heavier girls. :)

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

I say you've got one more kick-ass weigh-in in you, Tricia. Bring it home!

arielcircleofnine said...

5 lbs damn!! that is awesome, I predict that the mere 150 lb contender goes into a feeding FRENZY until Friday and actually gains 4 lbs!! you're gonna win, I just know it!
I hate grocery shopping with the fiery passion of a zillion suns--post office is also quite annoying. My fave trip was around the holidays--stuck in line talking to a lovely lady named "Aquanetta" who invited me to her adult toy party before it was finally my turn with the grumpy slow-ass postal worker! Kinda got me thinking about packages of another sort. not really. well, kinda... :-D

411 Gurl said...

You are really doing great! May your competitor have a loaded weekend of family and friend get togethers that taunt her with (insert taunting foods here) and then if she doesn't actually eat them, they will sprout little legs and arms and march up her legs to her stomach, sock her in the gut and when she screams, JUMP right into her mouth. Hehehehehe. Brats and Buns get in line!... Hut 2, 3, 4, ...

POD said...

You want I should send the hippy sign directly to your friend wrapped in expensive tissue paper??? You did not give me your address yet.

I can send a really ancient pair of Birkenstocks too. That means his gift would stink so bad, he'd probably fall in love all over again.

Congrats on your weight loss and not having to go to the P.O. ever again. That causes IBS too.

midlife_swimmer said...

5 lbs is awesome!!!

Shelley said...

See? You got a reward by not eating that birthday cake! Five pounds in one week is bordering on Biggest Loser um, losing...are you sure you don't have Jillian working you out? Congrats - and I bet you beat that skinny girl for the PRIZE!!!

Congrats also on winning the Hippie sign - POD is the greatest, isn't she?!?

Happy Fun Pants said...

I love POD's blog! Who am I kidding? I love her!

Also, I deliberately did NOT comment on it because I decided that that sign would make my boyfriend ask me to move out.

:)

Results Not Typical Girl said...

You said horse head. Snort. ;)

Results Not Typical Girl said...

Doh. Forgot to tell you I added you to my blog roll. WhoTF came up with that name anyway? Even that sounds fattening. But it might just be because I'm hungry. Peace out.

biz319 said...

OMG, this sentence made me laugh out loud!

...I'll just congratulate her then spend the rest of my life secretly hating her from afar!

And if you decide to join my 101 Days of Summer Challenge, only I have decided to take and post my before picture - you don't have to! :D

Anonymous said...

dam dam dam

I'm in withdrawal from your blog...please post again soon...need my fix!

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