Oh my God, Becky...

Wow, guys! I'm way impressed with the amount of entries I got for the 300 Things Giveaway already! You guys rule at viral messaging! I saw my name on Twitter so many times today! I felt like Levi Johnson, minus the abs and plus some smarts. He's kinda dumb, I hear. On Twitter. I get all my news there, and from Gnu News. You know the line.

Anyway, keep entering cause I'm not doing the drawing until next Thursday (6/3/10) because that's close enough to payday that I'll actually be able to afford to send it out...woohoo!

So I'm REALLY excited because I'm leaving after work tomorrow on a short road trip to Ontario, California to go to Dave & Busters! One of my favorite places EVERRRRR! I'll be honest...I am a giant kid. You give me ten bucks in quarters and a skee-ball machine and you won't see me for a while. But I feel weird going to Chuck E Cheese with no kids! Sometimes I think I should just have a kid so people stop looking at me like I'm some pedophile just because I wanna play some damn air hockey!

But D&B is like grown-up Chuck E Cheese! It's so perfect! If only it wasn't so damn far away. It's like 4 hours, I think. I dunno cause I've never driven to California before, so that's another reason to be excited! I'm going with the trivia crew, so surely a druken blast is in store.

I'll be honest, the reason I'm most excited is because we're getting a hotel room and I'm HOPE HOPE HOPING that it has a big-ass bathtub in it! I love our apartment, but these bathtubs are TOO fucking tiny for life! I tried to use it once when my foot was broken, but it was like me and a thimble full of water and it was still overflowing. NO BUENO. So it's been like over a year since I've had a bath, and I want one, dammit! I used to love just laying there chilling for like hours and refilling the tub over and over again with hot water. Mmm, wastefulness. Look, this sounds bad, I DO SHOWER EVERY DAY. I have to, or else my hair looks like the current state of the Gulf of Mexico right now (so terrible...)

I just...want a bath. So...here's hoping it's not some tiny tub like the one I got now. And by tiny, I mean, "built for regular assholes who aren't me-sized." So yeah.

Also, I bought some jeans, but they don't really fit. But they're kinda cool looking so I bought them anyway. So I'm gonna wear them all night tonite in the hopes that they'll stretch a little and I won't freaking die having to be in a car for 4 hours without breathing. Well, like, they FIT...but it's not a good fit. It's like "okay, get the pliers, time to zip these bitches up!" but that's still better than wearing my Mom jeans with the steering-wheel-rub-spot on em.

One thing I do hate about jeans that don't fit is how they turn my stomach into a front-butt. Baby...got...front. I seriously have no ass. It sucks to be this fat and have small T&A! It's like the cruelest joke ever played on mankind and it's happening right here in my bra and panties. Shit is unfair! If I could learn how to walk backwards, I would have more luck because my backrolls can be pretty voluptuous and my front-butt is the stuff most rap songs are written about. No, not Courvoisier...booty, silly!

Oh well, they'll fit one day!

By this time tomorrow, I'll know if I won the contest at work or not. I sure hope I do! I've done all I can at this point. It's all up to the scale gods now. Unless they don't exist...in which case, I am probably SCREWED.

Hope you guys have a fun weekend!