I made a spreadsheet because I am a professional.

You guys! Tonight is the drawing for the 300 THINGS!! Did you enter?? Did you tell your friends?? What are you waiting for???

I noticed I'm at like 341 Followers now. Holy shitballs! Should I do a second prize drawing if we reach the coveted 350 before the drawing tonight?? I think we should. I dunno what it'll be yet. Prolly just some random shit, but who doesn't love that? Random shit is like my favorite shit ever! We're pretty close, and I have faith in you guys. You're like the best Street Team ever! If Ron Paul had followers like you, he woulda at least been on the ballot. I wouldn't have voted for him because I still think he's all wackadoo, but that's besides the point.

Okay, so...don't forget to enter. If you already entered, your name is on this rad Excel Spreadsheet I made so everyone is assigned a number and I don't have to do a lot of handicrafts just to pick a winner. Is your name here?? If not, might wanna get on that, that's all I'm gonna say.


I don't really have anything to blog about today cause everything's all weird. I'm back on plan, and work is all sad cause my boss' mom died, then my coworker's mom died within like 2 days of each other. Lots of calls home to moms, I bet. It's sad.

In lighter news, here's some pictures from my road trip because nothing is more fun and exciting than looking at other people's vacation photos!

^Here's a picture of the gals at The World's Largest Thermometer in Baker, CA. Nothing says "California" to me like a giant non-working thermometer outside of a Bob's Big Boy. I tried to get Angel to dry-hump the Big Boy statue, but she clearly wasn't drunk enough...yet.


^Turns out people in California really like the shitty Lakers for some reason, so this picture got me shot in the ass about seven times at a Burlington Coat Factory. It was worth it. Eff Kobe.


^ I was bringing down a reign of terror at Dave and Buster's the like that those suckers have never seen! I traded in my 2400 tickets for a beach towel and a giant Pixy Stix. They were clearly relieved to see me leave before I turned over several pool tables in a fit of 'roid rage.

^I tried out this shiny new hat at Burlington's because it had all kinds of awesome shit on it like crosses, red paint, silver rhinestones, and some Old English lettering that was undetectable to the human eye. I decided not to get it because it was seven whole dollars and that mask already set me back a cool 20.


^Here we are outside of the hotel. It's like 9am and there's about 4 billion beer cans open in this picture alone. Hair of the dog, indeed.


^This is SUPER TRIVIA...like the whole reason these nerds wanted to go to D & B to begin with! I ditched this game about an hour in and found the Skee-Ball lanes. Kicked it with some 'tweens and talked about Justin Beiber. Won a shitload of tickets. Life is good.

^We played some pool to round out the night. You know it's $14 an hour for a pool table and we were averaging like an hour a game because we SUUUUUCK. The key is to be sober when the bill comes because then you can just divide it up not counting yourself and get those other suckers to pay your part. It always works. EVERY TIME. Always.


^My new thing is making out waiters take pictures with us. This was Keith! Keith was cool but he said we were crazy to live in Las Vegas. So I punched him right in the jimmy. Then I thought about it for a second and realized he was right. I apologized but I didn't really mean it.

^Waiter #2 with the birthday boy/captain. This dude's name was Mike and he sure liked to dance to early 90s grooves. Remember Quad City DJs??? They remember them at Joe's Crab Shack in case you were wondering...

Then we came home and I was freaking tired. The end.

Good luck tonite to you cats that entered!