Monday, February 28, 2011

I thought they said no news is good news?

It's hard to find a jumping-off point for updating your weight-loss blog when everything can really just be summed up with:

But I shall try...

Not a lot's been going on with me in the last...oh, let's see...four months (?) since I last blogged. Seems a lot longer all spelled out in words and whatnot. What can I say? Time flies when you're over-celebrating the holidays and blissfully unaware that your ass has grown to the size of a planet. Not one of those fake-ass planets like Pluto either. I mean a real Earf.

Truth be told, I've only gained about twelvish pounds. Which, don't get me wrong, is nothing to be proud of. But I've really, and I mean REALLY, been packing away the junk these last few months. I mean, I haven't even TRIED to diet. I dunno what happened, really. I know my pants were getting tighter. Everything just hurts and sucks and it's like "bleh." But rational thinking took a big fucking long vacation and in its place came just this weird random brain tornado of guiltless pleasure telling me to watch Jersey Shore and eat fried chicken and donuts and yeah, let's go watch that Justin Bieber movie! Large popcorn, please.

Ugh...disgusting. I know.

I can't explain it.

I just never even thought about it. I know I look like shit. I know I feel like shit. was okay. Because...right now, in this minute - nothing matters. This minute that has lasted, I dunno, four months? A year? 32 years, really? When will anything ever matter enough?

Thanks for checking in on me. I didn't die or have a stroke or anything. I just had a temporary lapse in fat judgement.

I'm going on a trip to Texas in about a month. All 400 pounds of me. Flying fat again...oh joy. It'll be my first time going home since my dad ran over my foot like a year and a half ago, almost. At least this time if he decides he needs to make a comment about my overall rotund-ness, I can point to my giant foot scar and remind him that it's not that easy to get around when some old dude runs you over on an airport driveway. The King of Guilt has met his match.

I'll try to update more. Hope you're all well.